Whassa happnin' hotstuff?

Friday, December 31, 2010

Today's starting weight

I have 2 scales, one said 210.0 and the other said 211.3, CLEARLY I'm going with the scale that says 210.0.  So that's my new starting weight and I'm going to update weekly where I land.

Lapbandgal uses sticky post-it notes to track her calories daily- isn't that a simple and great idea?  I tend to make things more complicated than they need to be, so I liked her idea.  And after losing 100lbs in a year, she's obviously got it together.

I have some work to do but my goal this week was consistently tracking what I'm eating - and I've done that.

I've also purchased the Gladware 1/2 cup, 1 cup and 2 cup portion bowls.  I really like the 1 cup size and am going to use that to gauge my eating.  I shouldn't be eating more than 1/2 - to 1 cup of food at a time. If I get really energetic today, I'm going to pre-make some super healthy soups and freeze them.  I'll let you know how they turn out.

Here's a few pictures that my little miss Busybee and I took on my new macbook yesterday.  I'm getting used to this mac (always been a pc user) very quickly!  Some things on it are just so much faster (fewer steps) to complete than on my PC.  And I really love it so far!



Thursday, December 30, 2010

Looking for the best place to track my calories

I've tried Myplate on Livestrong.com, Caloriecount.com, and Loseit.com.  I've found that the food on MyPlate and Caloriecount seem easier to call up than on loseit.  But I like the reports and organization of Loseit.  I especially like the daily or weekly email option on Loseit.  The problem with Livestrong's MyPlate is that there is a $45 'upgrade' for some customizations like targeting specific goals for nutrients and no advertisements.

What do you all use?  Do you have  a preference for one for a particular reason?  I'd love to know.

I scheduled my fill for Monday, Jan 10th.  It was the first avail appointment so I took it.  It will cost me $110 as usual through Fill USA which is who my doctor goes through.  I really like her a lot and while I hear a lot of horror stories about getting a fill - with her its a breeze.  I've never been stuck more than once.   I'm excited and trying to plan as nutritious a meal plan as possible for the weeks following it.   I like my Premier Protein shakes and greek yogurt to help get me 32g and 14g of protein respectively.  I can also get in another 9g of protein for about 100 cal in some skim milk.  I plan to get those three things in daily and would cover 55g of protein.  That leaves lunch and dinner to be vegetables and whatever else.  I'm going to challenge myself to avoid pasta and  I'm sure bread will be off limits (not possible to eat).  I know I'll be making a lot of soups so I'll be scouring your blogs for recipes!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I've made a new friend...my band

So many of you embrace your band - even give it an affectionate  name - and I've always been a little jealous of that.  I've never really talked about this before, but for a long time now, I've been afraid of my band.  I was afraid of the restriction and afraid I might be harming myself and not helping myself.  I know this sounds completely foreign to many of you - but I wasn't 'friends' with my band.  I was worried I might give myself stomach cancer or afraid that when I get old I'm going to have complications from this band.  I'm not exactly sure why I feel this way, but I know it traces back to the day I flew out to get the band.  I  almost walked off the plane b/c I was worried about implanting a foreign device in my body and worried I hadn't researched this enough.  I know that's why I've only gotten 2 small fills TOTAL in the history of my band.  I was afraid of it.  I also know part of this is due to the fact that I've not had a structured follow up plan with my band.  I really am a private person and thought I wanted to keep this all to myself and that I could handle it all on my own.

Through all of your blogs, I've learned that my approach needs to change and I need to see my band as the tool I wanted/paid for to bring health to my 40 year old body.  I actually feel like embracing it, thanking it, appreciating it.  That's a big change for me.  Specifically, seeing all the success out there and the positive things going on with your exercise routines - makes me want to embrace and use this tool I am so blessed to have.

Again, I know this is totally strange for many of you who worked so hard with your insurance and had to jump through so many hoops.  As a self pay - I just took the money out of my savings account and just paid for it without having to do a lot of work to make it happen.  Maybe if I did, I would have felt this way sooner.  I'm not sure and it doesn't matter except to say that I'm finally excited to make some changes and no longer afraid of it.  In fact, I feel lucky.  Yep - I feel lucky to have this tool that's going to take me somewhere I know I couldn't go all by myself - to my goal weight.  Also to a place where I can feel strong and work out because its good for me - not just because I want to lose weight.  Heck, even someday, maybe I'll even give it a name like so many of you do! :)

I have a list of things I'm going to do this year and this month that I'm going to post this week.  I'm also scheduling a fill for the first week in January.  Its a step forward and I'm excited about it!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I have opposite body dysmorphic disorder...

You know how everyone typically thinks they are bigger than they actually are?  I think I'm the opposite.  You see, my son got a Kinect game console - its like a Wii only you don't have to hold those things in your hand to play b/c it auto-detects you.  It does this using a small camera on the front.  Anyway, we also got an exercise 'game' which is pretty neat.  It does yoga, cardio workouts, and other 'games' to get you moving.  I played it today and the thing also displays a live image of you working out and corrects your form as you move through the workouts.  Well, let me tell you, my 'image' reflected back at me was NOT pleasant to look at!  I had one of those moments where I thought - is that what I look like to other people?  Wow.  I honestly thought I was 'smaller' than that.  That I really didn't look 'that' bad.  I think I'm smaller than I actually am - that's opposite body dysmorphic disorder!  I really need to get moving on losing this weight.  Yuck.  I didn't like my reflection.

I definitely felt muscle fatigue from that workout.  I felt out of shape when I went snowboarding last week also.  I am not strong - and I want to be!  You know when you get so sick of yourself you do something about it?  Well, I'm there... and I'm going to do something about it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

So much snow and poor eating habits!

I ate poorly on Christmas day.  We had the family party at my house which was nice b/c we didn't have to go anywhere.  We also had lots of fantastic leftovers - chocolate, cookies, spinach artichoke dip, crackers, cheese, chocolate covered strawberries, ham - you name it!  I set up a hot chocolate station too - and I made the good stuff from Williams Sonoma which is chocolate shavings you mix with hot milk.  Its fantastic - and very fattening. *sigh*





Today, we've got record snowfall at the beach.  I took a few pics just to share just how much snow I'm talking - and it rarely snows at all here....

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas on the Potomac - last weekend's trip

I'm going skiing tomorrow at Wintergreen resort so I'm in a chilly kind of mood.  I've broken out my ski jacket and such and I'm feeling frumpy b/c its simply not the most flattering coat.  I look like a big yellow blob.  Today I tried to stay under 1000 and found myself unsuccessful.  I had:
Breakfast:  Starbux coffee
Snack: nothing
Lunch: Korma chicken, rice, peas (2 cups)
Snack: Snyders pretzels
Dinner:  Potstickers, a few french fries
Snack again b/c I wanted something sweet:  3 bagel chips with light cream cheese. *This is what put me over the top. :(  I also realized I was hungry most of the day.  I'm in definite need of a fill.
I finalized all my paperwork for my MBA, I'll begin 1/1/11.  That seems like a very lucky date - doesn't it?  It will be interesting b/c  a lot of the content is self paced/self learner type.  I'm looking forward to it - thank you to everyone for the well wishes.

This is a picture of me and the Negotiator.  The four of us and my mom and her husband went to the Gaylord Hotel in DC/Maryland for their Ice sculpture display.  The theme was "The Grinch" and the display was pretty amazing.  It includes 21 million pounds of colored and carved ice.  You walk through room after room of ice displays.  Its maintained at 9 degrees - so cold!  They actually give you the blue parka's you see us both dressed in because its so cold inside!  We all got to see the sculptures as well as some original Dr. Seuss art!  Additionally, the Gaylord was decorated so beautifully.  I enjoyed hot chocolate with buttershots in mine! It was a really nice weekend...here are few shots of the ice sculptures:











Sunday, December 19, 2010

Doubt began to creep in until I read this

 I've been reading all my favorite WL blogs and discovering some new ones.  I went on LBT last night also and began reading all the studies that the 2 year mark is generally the end of the road for all the weight you're going to lose.  I got the feeling that I'd read a little too much and the doubts began to creep into my mind.  What if I really am a failure with this band?  I am an emotional eater, what if I don't do the hard work to get this thing working again?  Then I read this:  "Losing weight with the lapband is a re-normalizing process. It is not like dieting. There are no good and bad foods. There is no success and failure. There is a pathway. It might wind a bit. It may have some ups and then downs. It might seem long and frustrating at times but the band is there..waiting. Waiting for the time when you are ready to use it and change the little things that add up to big things that add up to success. It is funny really I was all worried about what goal would mean and really I was already here all along. doing the best I can do to eat healthily and enjoyably and exercise so I can continue to enjoy everything that started me on this path and think of new and exciting things to try out."  WOW.  That's exactly right.  That's from Tina's weightloss blog whom I found through Dinnerland.  Thank you Tina.  I will save that and read it over and over.  The band is there waiting for the time when you are ready to use it.  Its not hopeless, its full of hope (and full of saline soon! wink!).
Today, Sunday, I will enjoy at home.  I'll clean the house and wrap presents.  I'm going to hop on the treadmill and hook up my NikePlus and get some exercise in.  I'm also going to enjoy some time with my husband and hopefully enjoy an afternoon 'nap' with him. :)  Its so busy with the kids these days its gets so difficult to fit those 'connections' in.  I know for sure when we do fit 'naps' into our schedule, we're both happier (well, duh, of course he is) but I'm happier too b/c I feel closer to him.  The week just goes better somehow.  Haha!  I never thought I'd feel that way about it but I sure do!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Snow Days

I took this pic of the kids a few weeks ago and it just makes me laugh.  I wanted them to take a nice picture together and it was useless.  Just wanted to share a couple of kids having a belly laugh.

Now about the weather- well,  it never snows here and we got snow last Thursday and it looks like it may snow tonight too! That's a big deal here considering its snowed about 2x in the last 4 years.  So that I could cozy up on the couch this afternoon,  I went Shopping early this morning so I could knock a bunch of stuff off my list.  I was doing so well with my Christmas list - buying ahead and feeling well organized - and then time just got away from me!  I have a few more gifts to get at The Body Shop and Williams Sonoma.  Then, I'll finally be done.  I'm looking forward to having it ALL DONE.  I'll also be doing a lot of wrapping today.  That's so time consuming and I don't enjoy wrapping odd shaped kid toys.  Anyway, I decided to make an easy dinner since I'll be so busy.  I stopped in Panera and bought some bread bowls.  I'm going to make chili in bread bowls.  Cozy food!

I also stopped in Old Navy today and picked up a few things.  While there, I tried on some coats and I just didn't feel like they looked great on me.  I felt so puffy! I kept thinking - what would I look like 20 lbs lighter?  All you out there at 170-180 look pretty normal and great to me.  I can't imagine looking like that - looking more normal weight than overweight.  It must feel GREAT - so if you're there now and not appreciating it at the moment - stop and appreciate how great you look! :)  I went looking for a ski coat as I'm taking my Supervisors on a Ski Trip to Wintergreen Ski Resort on Tuesday.  We decided to do that as our 'team builder.'  I think it will be fun and I'm considering snowboarding.  I've been skiing before, but never a snowboard.  I'm curious if the rental boots are going to squeeze my calves so tight that it cuts off my circulation like they normally do.  I don't really go skiing often enough to justify buying my own boots, bindings, and skis or board.  Now that the kids are getting bigger, however, maybe I'll consider it.  I'd love to find some stuff second hand as I know there is such a ton of that out there.  I weigh less than I did the last time I went skiing so I'll let you all know how the calves fit into the rental boots!

On another note - last night I went out with my girlfriends for their birthdays.  We went to an elegant Italian restaurant and as a bonus I was having a great hair day.  Everyone else kept commenting on my haircut - its nothing extraordinary - but it sure is nice to have a good hair day every blue moon!  Its also nice to receive compliments - I need to make sure I pay other people more compliments.  Anyway, we went to a fun Irish bar afterwards that has a huge fireplace and roaring fire inside.  We got slightly buzzed - no hangovers - but just enough to be obnoxious and laugh so hard we nearly peed our pants.  I can't drink beer anymore b/c of the bubbles --- I do love a Corona Light with lime (especially on a beach in Mexico!) --- but I drank cranberry+absolut instead.  I've read that its one of the lowest calorie drinks and I like them.  What about you guys - do you have a signature drink or know the best/low calorie drink to have?

I am watching my calorie intake now.  One thing that has remained even with hardly any restriction, is that I just don't want to eat breakfast.  Its noon right now and so far I've only had coffee and a small sliver of a bagel (like an 1/8th inch piece).  I bought some protein shakes to help me with the protein intake once I get a fill.  And I decided to wait until the week after Christmas instead of next week to get that fill.  I'm in the stage of gathering the foods I know I'll need like refried black beans, apple sauce, Amy organic soups, and the protein shakes.   At present, my restriction is barely there but  it definitely shifts with my hormones.  I never get stuck anymore but I have a hard time eating only in the morning.  I also have to eat somewhat slow for the first few bites, but after that I can eat as much as I want.  Getting a fill is going to allow me to get to that place where I'm only eating a half cup of food at a time. I still have my centrum liquid vitamins and I'll be sure to continue to take those too b/c I feel that is really important.  I don't want to feel all lethargic and out of energy the last time I had real restriction.  I'm also considering making my own protein shakes so I can get more fruit and vegetables in.  I do have a question for you guys - when you make yourself a shake - do you have problems with all the bubbles that form?  I definitely can't drink carbonated drinks anymore - but besides beer - I never really drank them much anyway so I don't miss it at all.  Do you all use a juicer instead?  Juicers are pretty expensive - do any of you use one or have any recommendations?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I'm ready to try again

I have no idea if anyone will read this - but Gen reached out to me a few weeks ago and it kind of woke me up a little bit.  I've been lying low, regrouping and taking some time for myself that I knew I needed.  So what does making yourself happy and NOT focusing on every calorie consumed and burned do for you?  I'd like to say - it just magically fell off - like the guests on Oprah after reading and connecting to Geneen Roth's "Women, food and God."  That didn't happen - it boils down to hard work, focus, exercise and tracking what you eat.  I know, big surprise for everyone.  At least now, I'm in the right optimistic place and mentally ready for the work that I want to put into this.
I have a lot of blogs to catch up on and I'm excited about it.  I can't wait to see how everyone is doing.  I'm going to call and schedule a fill tomorrow as I basically have no restriction at all.  I also have not been working out - and I'm ready to change that too.  I'm wanting to exercise just to feel better.  To sleep better.
I'm also beginning my master's program for an MBA in Business Strategy and Organization.  I'm excited about that too.  I'm just ready to be proactive in a number of ways and areas in my life.
Please leave me a comment, stop by and say hello, I hope that I can reconnect with all of you.  I need the support and experience to learn from all of you (again).

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Learnig my body's signals

One thing I've learned from this experience of eating whatever I wanted and not weighing myself is that I've learned how my body changes through the month.  I had a pretty good idea I was PMS'ing recently but before that I began to feel more restriction.  I know now that at least 1.5 weeks out of the month I'm going to have more restriction.  And that I shouldn't push the eating thing b/c I'm going to regret it.  I've learned that eating too much gives me a pain in my lower rib and a pain in my left shoulder if I pay attention to it before its too late.  I've also learned that I know when I'm losing weight without weighing myself.  Its all kinds of queues - not just if my clothing has changed - its more of a feeling in my gut.   No, not intuition, I mean like.....literally.   Like I can suck my gut in easier and allllmost eek out the faint edges of my collarbones.   Does that make sense?  I can feel it vs. measuring it.  And I find myself wanting to feel like that more often and its keeping me from eating the wrong things or too much of them.  Its definitely a different approach.  I'm secretly hoping I'm just going to 'feel' my way down this weight ladder and I'll just wake up one day, cheerfully hop on the scale and find myself in Onederland!  I'm still 4lbs away so there is no reason this is an unrealistic expectation.......I'll keep you posted on when that actually happens.... 

Monday, July 5, 2010

A few things....

So I decided to take a new approach.  I found myself completely and utterly obsessed with all the band blogs I'm following, continually comparing myself to everyone else and feeling like I'm doing something wrong.  I decided to kind of drop out of thinking about this every minute and feeling defeated when I came up short.  I stopped weighing myself, stopped reading my favorite blogs, stopped posting and just started living.  I also decided I'd allow myself to eat whatever I wanted without counting calories and only basically tracking my protein intake.  I found that I kept gravitating to eating a lot of sugar filled foods and always later in the day.  I found that I really don't want to before 11am at all.  I think that, however, is what was leading to wanting to eat more at night and also driving me toward sugar.  I found myself miserable and lethargic when I ate those sugar-laden foods and eventually stopped craving them because I repeatedly made myself miserable - overfull (I found that I literally had pain in my left lower rib) and exhausted.
I'm feeling better now because I'm still eating what I want, I just want vegetables because they make me feel better.  Weird, I know. 
So after 2 mos of not looking at the scale, I've not gained a pound.  I've not lost either, but that doesn't surprise me considering the Starbucks ice cream and cookies I ate while devouring sugar all the time.  I'm actually surprised I've not gained.
I'm going to continue down this path, I'm ready to exercise now after allowing myself to do nothing and not feel bad about it.  I want to exercise because I think it will bring me some energy as well as help me alleviate some lower back pain I've been feeling lately.  I also want to firm up my legs and strengthen my core.  I want to feel stronger.
I've enjoyed my hiatus.  I've missed all the great blogs.  I'm ready to enjoy your successes again with you and also join you.
I have found 2 NSV's I'd like to report.  I'm wearing Ann Taylor Loft in "L" instead of "XL" - that's AMAZING to me.  I actually don't remember the last time I didn't buy an XL - its just automatic, you know?    The 2nd NSV involves my boobs.  I went to Lane Bryant to get my favorite Bras this past month when they went on sale for buy 2 get 2 free.  I bought 40D's and they fit great!  New bras really are such a good thing.  Feels great - I just feel better wearing beautiful new bras.  Anyway, I bought the 40D b/c that's what size I thought I was.  I went to throw away my old bras and when I looked at the tag realized my previous bras were 40DD.  Another NSV!  I actually want my boobs to get smaller (not too much) but how cool is that?!  I'm very happy about both things!
I hope you all are doing well.  I look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs!  I also hope you all are having a wonderful summer!  I am!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Hadn't tried to lose, got my (.) and lost 2 lbs, go figure....

Today is my dear first born's birthday.  Its late, I'm tired, but wanted to post real quick.  It went well - I bought all the food and didn't cook a thing!  I'll post pics but wanted to say 2 things.  I lost 2 lbs without trying (what the Hell?)  and I wore pants today that were my 'skinny' tight pants 6 mos ago.  They're too big in the waist now and I kept having to pull them up.  niiiice. feeling!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Was going well, jumping back on...

The business of this week got away from me and resulted in my eating off plan and not working out.  I've really been doing great, so I'm not sure why I allowed it to happen.  Well, I'm going back on plan and going to enjoy the benefits of exercise.  I'm more tired when I get home from work when I'm not walking/running so that's incentive enough to get going again!  I also connected with my personal trainer again, so I know her schedule and I can go after work a few times a week.  Baseball games after work, baseball practice 2x per week after work have been making it hard.  I just need to plan and re-adjust my schedule to fit it in!
I've also been feeling really hungry in the mornings and at about 3pm.  I'm starving when I get home and I eat too fast and the wrong things.  Its strange to have that hunger/desperation feeling back.  So I know that means I need a fill.  Fills cost me $150 so I take them seriously!  I'm not losing, I'm eating bigger portion sizes, so I know its time!  I have a band that can only be filled to 4ccs, Its a 10cm circumference band that holds 4ccs of saline volume.  Anyone else out there like me?  It sounds like most of you have the larger bands that can hold 10ccs of volume.  I've only had 2 fills and I currently have 2.2ccs in my 4cc band.  I'm really torn because I know I only need and want a very small fill but I think it will kick start what I need to get this weight loss moving again.  I've stalled and am doing all the right things exercising, eating whole protein, etc.   Before 11am, I can't even eat a full cup of raisin bran.  Around 12-1pm, my band opens up and I can eat pretty much as much as I want of anything - some days I feel more restricted than others.  At night when I get home, I can eat ANYTHING I want and as much as I want.  I wish my restriction was a little more constant throughout the day.  I say this b/c getting a small fill is going to fix the evening hunger and ability to eat anything - but it will likely mean I will have a really tough time eating - I probably won't be able to eat anything but a protein shake for bfast and then a very small amount of protein for lunch.  I'm 206 today so I'm still bouncing around the same pounds for the last few months.  I know that I need to do this if I want to make this happen.  I'm going to make the appointment today........
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!  My husbands dad has been tied up out of the country -he's flying in today finally after being delayed a week because of the Volcano in Iceland.  He's making it just in time for my son's birthday tomorrow.  They are all going out on a head boat fishing - so my poor father in law is going to be dog tired tomorrow!  But I know he's glad to be back!  I'll be so busy this weekend cleaning and getting ready for the party tomorrow.  At least I weigh 30 lbs less for his birthday this year than I did last year! :)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Question - how do you respond/manage comments on your blog?

Lost another .5 yesterday, so I'm at 205.5 today.  I'm really happy about that!  I've been focused on getting the 45 mins of walking (and jogging for short periods only if I feel like it) and that has gone well!  I've reconnected with my personal trainer and will start going next week for 2 days/week.  I've been at this weight before, only I was 'smaller' size-wise at this weight before.  Why?  Its because the last time I lost this weight, I did it working out with a trainer 3x per week and running regularly.  I did a lot of weights also.  I was much more toned and therefore smaller.  Especially when it comes to my middle and my legs.  So I'll continue my cardio - but I just need to get the resistance training and all the ab/squat work in so I can tone myself up a bit.  Shorts season is here and I'm NOT ready! LOL. 
I have a question I'd really like some feedback on - how do you guys manage the blogs you read and how do you respond to them? 
Do you read your posts though an email feed and then respond individually and directly to the posts via email? 
Or do you just respond on your own blog?  I have always responded to MUCH appreciated comments on my blog itself.  But what do you all do?
I also comment on your blogs, of course, but only about your topic, of course.
I guess I just appreciate the words of advice so much and want to make sure you all know that and by responding on my blog alone - I'm not sure you guys see that or get my responses.
I also just changed the setting so I can see comments immediately by blogger kicking off an email to me which I see with my cell phone.
I have blogger reader set up, but I can't access it from work, only from home which is a small window of time in the evening.
Looking forward to finding out what you do so I can learn yet again from all you great women!!   

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Moving down finally from this Easter weight gain

The scale is moving down, thank goodness, from the 5lbs I gained Easter week.  I'm down to 206 this morning - which is only 2lbs away from the 204 I was at 2 weeks ago.  I've been eating less (and avoiding chocolate) and decided to take it easy on myself working out.  I'm walking and doing shorting jogging stints - only because I was getting a really sore lower back from pushing myself to run.  I am enjoying the exercising more and at least I'm doing something!  I want to have a more positive experience from exercise - not just push myself hard and then be sore all day and night.  I'm also working hard to get 4 bottles of water in. 
I have a big work function in Washington DC the first week in May.  I really wanted to be below 200 at the point and wear some of my really nice suits since this is a very high brow event that include award dinners and workshops during the day.  I plan to go up a day early with my great friends that are also my co-workers and shop at Tyson's corner and Potomic Mills.  I really wanted to be in the 190's by now and wear my very nice expensive outfits that I still don't fit into.  I also know that its 2 weeks away and I'm not going to put that pressure on myself.
Are deadlines good?  Are they goals or are they unnecessary pressure?  Goals with time lines are good in real life - but are they really good when it comes to weight loss?  I'm not sure. 
I've really put a lot of pressure on myself and felt a lot of resentment because of weight goals.  For example, the one year mark of having the band.  I know its great for some - but for others like me, I just felt disappointed that I wasn't further along and progressing as well as I'd hoped.  Based off all I had read, it seemed like I understood that after 1 year - you've pretty much lost all that you're going to.  I even read studies in medical journals that asserted this.  I'm learning, however, from reading your blogs and your journeys - that this isn't the case!    So, I'm going to go through my own journey - at my own pace.  And I'm going to try to stop imagining myself at a certain weight in a certain month at a specific event!  I'm going to appreciate where I am !

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I'm struggling with my lack of weight loss

I am struggling to understand why I am plateaued again and actually gained weight this week after 4 week of doing all the right things.  Admittedly, last week, I only worked out once and ate completely off-plan, starting with chocolate at Easter.  I am analyzing how much weight I've lost so far and trying to true that up with when I got my first fill.  I feel like a failure, but I know I will make this work.  I also know that I intentionally didn't get a fill for 6 mos after my surgery b/c I just wasn't ready for many reasons.  The point is that I'm ready now and I need to figure out what I need to do next.
I'm at the place - the threshold between dropping to my lowest weight since before I got pg with my daughter.  Its that place that I've read many of you blog about - its almost a psychological thing - what am I doing to sabotage moving past this mark on the scale.  I weighed 198 for about 2 minutes about 4 years ago.  I had lost about 30lbs on my own and worked out religiously to get there.  Prior to that, I've not been below 200 for about 10 years.  The lowest weight I actually remember is being is in the 170's and 180's when I got married 16 years ago.  My point is that I'm stuck here and I don't understand why.  Am I going to completely fail at this?  No, I'm not so I'm trying to figure out what to do next.
I read this on the consumer guide to bariatric surgery "Weight loss with gastric banding tends to be gradual. You may lose up to two or three pounds a week in the first year after the surgery, but one pound a week is the average. This slows in the 12 to 18 months after your surgery. On average, gastric banding produces a loss of about 40 percent of excess weight in the first year and 55 percent of excess weight in the second year. If you plateau at any point, your surgeon can give you a "fill."
So I lost 30lbs in the 6 mos after I got my first fill.  That puts me at December 09.  My total excess weight that I want to lose from my starting weight of 232 is 70lbs.  So a 40% loss of 70lbs would mean I should have lost 28 lbs. in the first year?  Doesn't that sound totally wrong?  If I were to lose 55% of my excess weight in this 2nd year, that would put me at losing another 38.5 lbs.  Wouldn't THAT be awesome!!??  If I lost 38.5 lbs from where I am right now, it would put me at a weight of 166.5 which would be pretty darn incredible. 
I guess I had the understanding that most of your weight loss is in the first year - and I've read that in a few studies.  How do you all feel about that 40% in the first year, 55% in the 2nd year statement above?  I'd love to know your thoughts and what your doctors have told you.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

What a beautiful day

I'm eating a clean and healthy salad on the deck while the sun shines down on me.  Its chicken, kalamata olives, lettuce, feta and avocado.  I used a new salad dressing which I'm really liking  a lot.  I don't often find a dressing that I like a lot that's not terrible calorie and sugar wise.  Its "Greek Vinaigrette" by Kraft.  I also have used it when grilling or baking fish - its a fantastic marinade.  I'm also drinking this....
In an 8oz serving, it provides 100% of 12 vitamins.  I does have 26g of sugar, however.  I got it from Trader Joe's yesterday and it just tastes so refreshing with the bonus of all the vitamins too. 
I ate out every single day last week with friends at work.  I feel guilty about that b/c I usually use my lunch break to workout- and so I slacked on that last week.  The scale reflects my bad habits and I've actually gained weight.  Its the chocolate and lack of discipline!  So, I need to re-direct myself.  And I want to.  I'm going to run/walk this evening and get my butt back on track.  I have headaches for 2 days now - and I swear I think its the extra sugar and the lack of working out.
I'm also sitting here reading my latest issue of Clean Eating magazine.  I'm not sure if any of you subscribe - its centered around eating whole foods and its recipes are geared toward fewer ingredients (less complicated and time consuming) and towards using fresh or frozen ingredients vs. canned or processed.    And no, I still don't know how you make leftovers......sexy.  LOL!  Maybe by putting the word 'sex' on the cover of a food magazine, they thought they might sell a few more......
I don't often get to sit down, eat, AND read a magazine.  My 3 year old has been wearing my down with constant spills, messes, and constant TALKING.  Non-stop talking......anyway, like I said, its a beautiful day!
I stepped inside to type this up on the computer and and out the window see Hubby is trying to figure out how to throw a casting net so that he can teach our son.  My son wants to learn to do it so he can catch minnows for bait.  My son fishes constantly!   What's hilarious to me is that all my dear hubby is really making  - is a big 'ol tangled mess!
Do you see the frustration?  Its too funny.  At least from the inside looking out.  He'd kill me if he knew I was taking pictures of him....
Well, I hope all you girls have a wonderful weekend too!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Snapfish sweepstakes

Just thought I'd share a link to Snapfish's website -where they're having a give away for different stuff.  One is a mini HP netbook!  I hope some of you all win something!
They're celebrating 10 years so they're giving away stuff - gotta love that!  You just never know!  I won a trip to Alcapulco last year on the radio! Really!  So I'm a believer!
http://birthday.snapfish.com/?affiliateId=commissionjunction_info25?AID=10769165&PID=3394343&source=cj

Thursday, April 8, 2010

That darn scale needs to MOVE!

I'm going to make this darn scale move!  I went to costco this past Monday and bought fish - so the plan is to make fish 2x per week.  We've already enjoyed salmon this week and tonight its cod.  I also bought a ton of fresh fruit to enjoy - I love kiwi and so do my kids - so we will enjoy that this week as well!  As I'm working hard to incorporate whole foods (less and less processed foods) into our lives - I also want to have a night where I plan on a meal based around legumes/beans/musical fruit - whatever you choose to call them.  I've read so many great recipes that include beans on your blogs and I've collected them all.  I really want to make Amy's black bean soup!
I hope the weather is as beautiful as its been in my part of country.  Its been in the 80's and gorgeous!
My girlfriends and I had martini night on Tuesday - what a blast!  My current favorite is pineapple upsidedown cake martini.  Oh yum!  Too many calories but I had tuna tartar so does that count towards making up for it? I got some great, clean protien in!  Here is a couple of us being totally stupid and obnoxious -  Oh my gosh we had so much fun.  I love nights like those!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Ate like crazy and lost

Thank you for all the supportive comments and suggestions.  When you're totally lost, it makes such a difference that you all are kind enough, care enough to post some suggestions.  Its truly a lifeline.  So thank you.  I took Jennyr's suggestion and drank a lot of water.  I also, interestingly enough, ate A LOT over the last 2 days, didn't track a single calorie and this morning I'm back to 204.5.  So, Gilly's suggestion to pig out also worked.  Wierd!  So strange.  So I'm going back on calorie/nutrient tracking and exercising today.  I'm going to break that 200 barrier!  I'm so determined to make it, I don't care how long or how much running or calorie tracking - its going to happen!
Yesterday I finished BusyBee's sweater - but its too warm to wear it here except for maybe in the evening.  I still need to block it (get it wet and and lay it out to dry after shaping it - it allows the yarn to 'bloom' and really finishes the garment).  After I do that, I'll take some pics of BB modeling it.  This sweater took me a few months to complete just b/c of the lack of time I have in my life!  But I reached my goal of finishing by Easter!  Its a lovely pale spring green and the yarn so beautiful.  Its Debbie Bliss yarn - called Baby Cashmerino -  my favorite.  Anyway, here's a pick of it completed:
Easter was nice - I was able to see many of my cousins that I hadn't seen in quite a while.  It was a real country cook out complete with a big 'ol pig cooker that we grilled ribs, chicken and corn in the husk.  They added hickory wood and it really gave the food such an awesome smoky flavor! Its was fantastic food and good company.  I wore an embellished black shirt (staple black) and size 16 Gap jeans.  I didn't feel enormous - only a little self conscious - I just didn't feel thinner and healthier either.  I hate that I constantly pull at my shirt.  I know its something that overweight people do - I just wish I could stop!  Its that self conscious thing going on, you know? 
I CAN tell you that a small NSV that I've noticed is that my lacy underwear is fitting much better! LOL!!!  I mean you know the front part on either side - usually my stomach roll makes that part stick out funny - but not anymore!  Cotton undies- I never have that problem - but the nicer underwear with the lace embellishments - for some reason - fit well everywhere else (read: covered my ass just fine) but the front pieces on either side always rolled under my stomach.
I've got some cute Easter pics to upload later - having problems with them right now.  Have a great Monday everyone!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Still 205.5

Well, I hopped on the scale again today and its still reading 205.5.  I sort of feel like that giant chocolate Easter egg up there!  (That's real Belgian chocolate - it took 26 craftsmen 525 hours to complete it - and they used over 50,000 chocolate bars!) 
I've consumed more calories in hopes of jump starting my body since I've been calorie restricting it  and it doesn't seem to have worked. I really don't understand it.  I know going from no working out at all to 5x per week is a lot.  But I knew it was what I needed to kick start my metabolism.  I know that I am doing all the right things.  My period is now over.   I was watching the sodium closely.  Its crazy!!  Its strange to me how the scale really did  move at first but now it isn't.  I was 207-208-209 and am down to 205.5.  But maybe I'm going to be one of those people who loose nothing, then lose more pounds than average in one fell swoop.  Its almost like this 200 lb threshold that I've not crossed in YEARS - since before I had my son 8 years ago - is just a set point that is going take some major shaking up to move past!  Well, I'm not giving up and thinks simply HAVE to change if I do this long enough.  I didn't work out again yesteraday and I ate more than I should.  I gave myself permission to say SCREW IT for 2 days. 
Today is the big Easter family get together out in the country.  We have to drive an hour from here to go to my Aunt's farm.  She has horses and all kinds of animals that the kids always love seeing.  Its a perfect setting for an Easter Egg hunt.  I have no idea what I'm going to wear.  I wanted to 'feel' like I looked fabulous - and thinner - but I really wanted to see the number 200 on the scale or close to it to feel that way.  I know I shouldn't let the scale make me feel that way - but I can't help it right now! I'm disappointed I didn't make the goal I'd set for myself.  Regardless, I'll take plenty of pictures and share with with you all!  I hope you all have a beautiful EASTER and your weather is as beautiful as it is here!!! 

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Scale is going up - 205.5 today

I just don't get it.  I'm keeping my cals below 1200 daily, eating clean, and exercising 5x per week for 45 mins.  I don't understand why the scale is up again a half pound today.  I went for drinks after work today with the girls, had 2 vodka cranberries and a dozen steamed shrimp for dinner.  I really wanted the nachos but got the high protien, lower calories steamed shrimp instead.
Unfortunately, I ended up over my calorie limit today: coffee for bfast, PF Chang's shrimp dumpling appetizer for lunch, and of course the steamed shrimp for dinner along with drinks.  Got home and I gave in and ate cherios, butterscotch chips, and walnuts b/c I had a major sweet tooth.   I'm disappointed in myself for giving in.  I also didn't work out today.  I'll make up for it tomrrow and Saturday - so I'll still make my 5x per week.  Just gave in today.......ugh! 
Tomorrow I'm off, except for one conference call at 3pm.  I plan to spend time outside, clean the house, maybe hubby and I might even go out for breakfast and enjoy a little time alone.  We need it!
This scale has just GOT to move, I'm doing the right stuff.  I realized tonight, however, that I'm very hungry between meals.  My stomach growls.  So I could use a fill.  I'm going to get over my embarassment for not having  lost more weight and schedule one.  Fills cost me 150.00 each, so I only want to schedule these when I really need them.  I thought I was in a good place, but now that my period is over, I'm realizing I probably could use a fill to get me to the next level.
I hope all of you have an amazing Easter weekend.  I look forward to posting a lower weight soon!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ok, I promised pictures, this is me after working out

So I promised I'd post more pics of myself since I enjoy that most on all of YOUR blogs....so here's one of me from last night after I ate that cup of ice cream:
Ok, that's really my daughter I caught on camera eating ice cream.

But this really is me - on the couch catching up on reading all your blogs.  Took pic with my new phone - I promise I'm not normally that shade of grey/blue!  I worked out today - ran better than I've been able to so far at 5.0 mph - which is a good stride for me, a person of 5'4".  Calories in: 1296.  Lots of water.  Thank you to everyone for the lovely words of encouragement - I really needed that today.  (((hugs))) to all of you!

Still 204....

Its frustrating to do all of what I believe are the right things and not see that scale move.  I did look back over my weight loss tracker and I weighed 206 exactly 7 days prior to this past Sat/Sun.  So, I could say that I lost 2 lbs in one week.  I had set the goal at 203.5 b/c I'd also weighed 205.5 that same week I'd recorded 206.  I guess I'm trying to encourage myself to replace the disappointment.  I ate fine yesterday, I also got my butt on the treadmill and walked on an incline for 45mins.  I really didn't want to do it, it was 7pm and I made my kids wait 45 mins to color easter eggs so I could get it done.  I didn't feel like pushing myself b/c I'm disappointed, but I know I can't give up on the exercise.  So I gave myself permission to walk instead as long as I did something.  Today, I'll go to the gym at lunch and work on the elliptical instead of running also.
Last night, I ate a cup of ice cream.  I didn't eat much for dinner and I was frustrated with myself and recognized that I was breaking down and allowing myself to eat what I shouldn't.  Its the disappointment that I'm feeling that led me to that.  It was after that, that I decided to get on the treadmill.  I don't want to give in and give up. 
I'll eat right today, I'm drinking much more water than I was, and do this for another week.  Easter will be hard with all the chocolate around but I will be accountable.  I plan to work out 5x this week again and we'll see what happens.  Just to get to 203 would be wonderful.  Why does my body want to hang on to this weight?  What is wrong with me??  If I was reading this on someone else's blog I might think - that person isn't reallly eating 1000-1200 calories or not exercising perhaps at the right intensity.  I AM and that's the frustrating part b/c I know I am.  I also know I've lost weight this way before just a couple of months ago so why isn't it working now?
Ok, rant over.  Moving on.  Pissed off, but moving on.....

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Half pound from my goal today!

I took Jennr's advice, and drank, drank, drank water yesterday.  I ate well, had a dozen steamed shrimp and half a boild potato at dinner.  For lunch I had some salmon and sauteed spinach.  Did well eating - and woke up today to the scale telling me 204.  So, I'm a half pound off, which sucks.  I only tried to lose 2 lbs this week and did all I was supposed to - exercise and eating were on point!  So while I am a little disappointed, I have to be happy weighing less than I did a week ago.  And even less than I was 2 weeks ago.  I am actually the lowest point since being banded so if I can move forward - and get below 200 - that's what I'm going to focus on.  Once I get there, I'll re-evaluate and figure out how to get to the next point.
I did go to Walmart and purchase the one cup containers by Ziploc to portion control my lunches this week.  I'd been using 2 cup containers and maybe that will help some as well.  I've got salmon and turkey slices ready to go.  I've also made up some breakfast snack bags - filled with multi grain cherios, walnuts and fruit bits that I can eat in the car on the way to work or just save for an afternoon snack if I don't want to eat breakfast.  I also know I need to up the potassium in my diet so I've got bananas for breakfast or snack as well.  So, I'm just trying to say, I'm prepared this week!
Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Sunday - what's left of it! 

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Phooey!

I didn't work out yesteday (I've completed four 45m workouts so far this week) and I've done very well with eating (1200 or less cals).  Yesterday, I got up to weigh myself and it said 205! UGH!  I had chicken soup yesterday, so I know the sodium caused that so I wrote it off.  Today, I get up at 4am (kids keep waking us up as they try to get in our bed again!) and I weighed 206!  Got up at 6:30am, I weigh 205 after using the restroom.  That SUCKS!  I do know that I'm doing the right thing - been working out and eating right for 2 weeks without cheating.  *sigh* I'm not having a good morning b/c I'm ticked off that I won't make my 203.5 goal by tomorrow morning. PHOOOEEEY! (that's the clean version).
OK, so enough about that.  I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen and keep doing the right things.  It just takes so LOOOONNGGGG!  Ok, I really am done........for now.
I was on the computer for hours last night trying to plan a trip to Disney/SeaWorld for my family in May.  We could go in April - airfare through Southwest is $210 each in either month.  Not sure if any of you Floridian natives have any inside recommendations - we're going to stay a week and do all the parks.  Any tips - for those of you have gone would be greatly appreicated as well.  What to avoid, what not to miss, etc.  Thanks!
Tonight is my husband's last race of the season.  I'm going to drop my daughter off at my MIL and take my son to the last race.  I'm glad its over but I know he's going to miss it.  He had a lot of fun doing it and I'm glad he has a hobby he enjoys.  He's done if for about 5 years.  I'm also glad I don't have to be a big part of it as its just not my thing.  And I think every married couple needs time to do things they enjoy - even by themselves.  I think its good to have that separation sometimes.  I'm going to meet my mom b/c she wants to go and we are going to take my son to Joe's Crab Shack.  Its one of his favorite restaurants.
Last night I wanted to sit, knit, and sip.  That means enjoy a little peace, knit with some cashmere yarn I recently bought, and sip a smooth, rich Clois Du Bois!  I even took a picture of my intentions:
Did it happen?  Nope.  My son had another boy sleep over, so you can imagine the noise and energy of two 8 year old boys giggling and playing all around the house last night.
DH took both kids to my son's baseball game this morning so I have 2 whole hours to myself!  Woot!  First priority is to post here, 2nd - catch up on all your awesome blogs, 3rd - go for a quick run this morning while I still can.  Maybe that pesky 1.5 pounds will shake off my butt as I'm jogging today - there really is a whole lotta shakin' goin' on when I jog...soooo. its possible! right?!
Have a wonderful day girls!  I can't wait to read your blogs!!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Shhhhh......I don't want to jinx it!

I'm not saying this out loud ....but I will type it really quick.....I woke up this morning, hopped on the scale and it said 203.5!!  That's a full 1lb overnight!  Now, I fully realize that its water weight.  But that's my Sat or Sunday goal realized TODAY on the scale!  2 days early!  I know tomorrow the scale will probably say 204 but it gives me hope that I'll realize my weekend goal to make it to 203.5!  And that it might stick !  Ok...shhhhh....lets all just be quiet and just hope the scale doesn't move tonight (unless, of course, it chooses to go down again!).  I'm getting ready to walk out the door now, and go for a 45 mins walk/run.  I'm at about 650 cals for the day and plan to finish again around 1000 calories eaten.  If I burn about 300 cals walking - that will put me at a -1100 cal or so for the day which is my target.  (1900 BMR+ 300 cals burned = 2200 cal daily expenditure.  2200-1000 calories eaten= -1200 calorie deficit).  That deficit for the next 3 days means I should lose another 1 lb over the next 3-4 day period.  I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Lost another half pound! I might make my week's goal!

Ok, so I'm probably a little dehydrated from not drinking enough water, but the scale DID say 204.5 this morning!!!  That's a whole pound down in 3 days!  Caloriecount.com and nikeplus.com are helping me to stay accountable to myself.  I worked out again today and was able to turn up the running pace to 4.5 and I ran for a total of 20 mins.  I'm doing intervals of 5 mins running with 2-5 min walking.  I keep that up for 45 mins and am able to cover about 3.2mi total.  I did really great yesterday, food-wise, then I decided to put that natural honey I got from a local farmer on top, and couldn't belive that about 4T had 280 calories!!!  UGH!  I went from about 1100 cals total yesterday to 1380 just like that!  Those are the extra calories I just would not have even thought about nor considered at all when I just eat without tracking calories!
I've also decided/realized that I don't ever post pictures of myself.  And that is truly what I enjoy the most on all of your blogs out there that I read.  And you guys also elevate that to VLOGS - I love it!  So,  I'm going to start posting more pics of myself.  I'll test out the phone on my camera - we'll see how that goes!
As long as I stay on track, I'm hoping to lose another full pound to bring me to 203.5 by Sunday.  At first, I thought I'd make it by SAT, but since that's only 3 days away, I'm probably pushing it to expect another full pound loss in the next 3 days.
I'm thinking a lot about what I'm going to wear to my full family event - that's taking place next Saturday for Easter.  I don't see all of my extended family except for marriages, births, deaths, etc.  That works out to once every 2 years or so.  I am the heaviest of everyone in my family.  Seriously, out of all my 4 Aunts, 6 Uncles, 3 siblings, 15 cousins -  none are overweight except for me.  (At least that is true on my Mom's side of the family).  My Dad, who died some years ago, was also always fit and never overweight - even as a middle aged person!  My mom is 5'6" and weighs probably 120lbs at 61.  Anyway - I want to look good at this even where tons of pictures will document everyone's families, how much kids are growing, who is aging well and who isn't! LOL.  Of course, I wish I weighed less than I do right now.  I wish I lost weight at the pace of everyone else out there in blogland  - but I've learned that since I waited so long for my first fill and because I didn't exercise like everyone else - that's why I'm where I am.  I'm glad I know now how to do it - it just still surprises me how hard it still is.  Its hard to not enjoy all the food I love.  Yes, hunger has subsided, but its hard to watch carefully what I eat when you're craving something like chocolate. :)   And to make yourself work out 5x per week.  Even though we have the band, we still have to do those things.  I realize that I live with less restriction than some people choose to.  I also respect that it is a very personal choice also.  And everyone's journey is personal to them.  I just really need to get this going and break into the next level!  199 is only 5 lbs away right now.  So close and yet seems so intangible!  What does it feel like to weigh 190?  To weigh 180?  I just cannot imagine how great that feels and I'm going to take Amy's advice and live in the MOMENT.  So all y'all skinny butts out there below 200 - please live in YOUR moment and realize what an accomplished place you're in!  I'll be joining you soon!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Another half pound! I'll take it!

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions about the salad!  I stuck with it, finished it, and didn't do badly food-wise for the rest of the day!  I also got a run in (3.2 mi) in 45mins.  I can already tell that I can run longer - and it feels better - after only these 3 weeks.   I got on the scale today and lost .5 !  I just hope it stays off and doesn't just bounce back up tomorrow.  I feel like if I don't work out today - it could bounce back up there, you know?  You know how you just bounce around up one day by a pound, down the next by a half, up the next day by a half, down the next day by a pound to end up right where you started?  I want to avoid that!  My goal is to be at 203.5 by Sat or Sunday.   I didn't take a lunch today and so I missed a workout during the lunch hour.  Its 7:15pm already, just got home, and I need to find a way to work it in!! 

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why is it so hard to eat a salad?



I've come home from work - to work from home - and made myself a wonderful salad: lettuce, tomato, cukes, red onion, kalamata olives, feta cheese, artichoke hearts and some wonderful greek dressing.  2 bites and I'm having a hard time eating it.  Why is it hard to eat the healthy stuff and yet so easy to eat 3 chocolate chip cookies?  The salad isn't that fibrous - so it shouldn't be a big problem.  But, I swear, when you're really hungry - and trying to eat the right stuff to boot -  it can be so difficult to avoid eating all the stuff your band won't blink an eye at and take right in!  The cheetos, chocolate chip cookies, cheese, ice cream, all the bad stuff doesn't phase my band one bit!  But the healthy stuff, ugh, its slow going.  Well, I'm not going to give in, but its frustrating to be hungry but unable to eat fast enough.
Ok, enough about that.  Target has some really cute cardigans - if anyone wants some "Spring" in their wardrobe - check these out on sale this week.  I bought a kelly green one and a white one yesterday.  They're normally 24.99 and great quality.   I'm really trying to break out of my black, cream, charcoal, eggplant rotation in my wardrobe.  So drab!  I need to buy some bright stuff!  And, no, that's not me in the picture!
I'm going to stay on track this week eating-wise.  And I'm also going to stay on track with running/walking.  I'm loving the Nike plus sensor - it talks to you throughout the workout - and I need that kind of motivation to let me know how much longer I have until I can stop! Now if I can only find the "Hugh Jackman" voice and have him telling me how much longer I have to go, I'll REALLY be motivated!  *sigh*  Ok, back to reality.....I also like uploading the data and tracking it online.  This new sensor allows more data to upload so I have much more detail than I did with just the built in pedometer and uploads in my nano.  (Yikes, that sounded a little dirty)  Sooooo - if I do all I have planned eating-wise and exercise-wise, it should mean a 2 lbs loss this week.  That would put me at 203.5 by this Saturday.  I'm really wanting that to happen.  So, its going to be what keeps me going and on track this week.  I hope I'm not setting myself up for disappointment.  This week makes the 3rd week of consistently working out - so I'm going to reward myself with a massage.  I'm also fighting off a cold - so I hope that doesn't impede all my great plans this week!

I'm still sitting here picking at this salad!  Its probably going to take me 45 mins to eat it.  Its 2 cups of salad and I realize we should only be eating 1 cup at a meal - do you think I'm doing this wrong?  Should I cut my portions down to one cup?   I eat about one and a half cups if its protien and cooked vegetables.  As long as I'm 900-1200 calories, it shouldn't matter, right?
Well, have a great day everyone!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

This works!

Hopped on the scale and lost another pound.  YAY!  So glad the 2 weeks of working out and eating the way I'm supposed to is rewarding me on the scale.  I'm so happy to regain control again!
I think I'm just a slow 'self-corrector.'  What I mean by self-correction is that everyone goes off track and then have to re-direct their behaviors to get themselves back on their exercise plan or back on their eating plan.  Most people self-correct in eating or working out habits in less than 24 hours.  Some people self-correct and get back on track within the week.  Me?  I think I'm a sloooow self corrector and that's what I'm going to focus on.  If I miss a day off plan, I'm going to self-correct the next day.  This is the only way I'm going to make this work.  Losing focus b/c of work or other life stresses for months at a time just isn't getting me where I want to go.  So there you have it!  The plan.

Yesterday I bought the nike adapter that attaches to your shoe and tracks your running workouts.  It cost $29 and tracks your work out so that you can upload them to nike plus website and track your progress.  I am doing that now with my ipod nano - its internal pedometer tracks my steps, converts them into calories burned based the stored height and weight I entered into it.  Then I connect my ipod to itunes and it automatically uploads the data to their website and tracks how I'm doing.  You can set goals, etc.  But it appears that the nike adapter I bought will upload more data than just steps/calories so I'm going to try it.  I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Its 8:15am, I'm realllly hungry even though I finished yesterday at around 1150 calories.  I realllly wanted to eat peanut butter and something substantial last night - but I resisted and ate greek yogurt with honey.  By tracking my calories on caloriecount.com I resisted b/c I didn't want to go that far over on my daily intake.  So that is the value in tracking my calories there.  Its changing my behavior! :)  I know on the site I can see the deficit between what I'm burning and what I'm eating and it allows me to calculate exactly when I should be losing a pound (-3500 cals) which at the rate I'm eating and burning - I hit that 3500 deficit about every 3-4 days.  Some days I get to a 1000 cal deficit, another day I'm only 800 cal deficit which equates to about a pound loss every 3-4 days, which equates to a 2 lbs loss per week.  Hello????  Obvious, isn't it?  For some reason, I'm really enjoying the tracking of it.  Makes it seem tangible - the loss of weight vs. just a theoretical guessing game.
I know I'm going to need a fill by the time I get into the 190's.  I'm hungry a lot - I am forcing myself to stop eating vs. the band stopping me.  Do you all feel that the band stops the hunger pangs or does the fill force you to eat less - you can't fit anymore in without getting stuck?  Is there a simple answer to that?  I'm thinking its individual to each person -some get tighter fill to keep them from eating more than the pouch in their stomach allows others may be more loose but the hunger isn't as great?  Hmmmm.  I don't like that feeling of not being able to eat much - I feel deprived and don't feel satiated.  I like the lack of hunger we feel after fills - the not thinking about it.  The sense that this is what 'normal' people feel like - not obsessed with thinking about food all day long.
I will stop babbling - I'm thinking I'll get to 203 by next Friday, 201 the week after that, and 199 in 3 weeks.  I'm focused on that micro-goal for now!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Real quick

Hey....real quick.....I'm home late, its 10pm here on the East coast, so I gotta post quick.  I knew it would be a long day b/c I was off they last two days and it was!  But that's not what I want to talk about.  I wanted to tell you guys that I'm doing really well food-wise and I am so proud of myself!  I couldn't didn't make working out happen today, but that's ok, b/c I'm just going to do it tomorrow and SAT and that will make 5 days of working out this week!  Yippiee ki-yay!  That will be 2 full weeks of working out 5x like I should!  I am getting stronger already and am already less winded & less ache-y (how do you spell that?? I don't have time to look it up - and btw has anyone figured out how to do spell check on blogger yet??) 
Anyway - just wanted to express my personal excitement because I know if I do all the right things, I'm going to get rolling again on the weight loss!  I can't wait to look like all you skinny minnie's out there! Yes CARA, I saw your collar bones in that VLOG....you hot momma...... and I'm jealous!  :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Concert was AWESOME & I stayed on track!




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Woke up this morning, hopped on the scale and I'd lost a pound!  So the exercise and eating right thing is working - go figure!
We got home last night at about 3am, I fell into bed and had to get up at 7am to get the kids off.  That done, I came back home and fell asleep for a couple of hours.  I woke up around 11am b/c husband called 3x - ugh!  And when I answered he said he didn't think I'd be sleeping. HELLO??!!  Anyway, it felt good to sleep a little bit more of the fatigue headache off. :)
The concert was fabulous!  And our seats were awesome!  I also was very proud of staying on track yesterday - not only making myself work out on the treadmill for 40mins before we left (and I was able to run jog for 15 mins of it).  We had a blast at dinner and I ordered the sirloin topped salad and ate very little of it.  I also didn't snack during the drive which was good.   We actually stopped at the restaurant where my ex-boyfried (of 5 yrs before hubby) manages.  He wasn't there that day - which is fine by me.  But when we were there I thought a lot about what he would think if he saw me.  He's one of the people I'd like to notice once I do lose the weight - how good I look!  Not for any other reason but I think he things I let things go after him.  And he was very 'looks' conscious - he groomed himself more than I did!  Anyway, he's a good guy - just a little hung up back then and is still a little bit too hung up on materialistic things and 'looks.'  So, I'd love to show him I've not let myself go and make him sorry for cheating on me way back then which broke up our relationship.  That's all!  Needless to say, I was happy he wasn't there - we went b/c my family was very close to him back then and they are still in touch with the rest of his family - so my sister really wanted to see him b/c she hadn't seen him in so long.  His sister does my family's hair on a regular basis.   
I will get there - I just need to stick to the rules of regular exercise and eating the right things.  I just realized that for lunch I had some Great Grains cereal - only about a cup - but gosh it was 248 cals!  I'm hungry now so since I'm already at 650 cals for the day I was looking for something lower in calories.   I grabbed a new favorite - I keep canned peaches (made with splenda) in the fridge!  They're very cold when they come out and they're only about 100 calories for the entire can.  A sweet treat that's not a lot of calories.  I don't plan on working out today - I'm going to give myself a rest day this week and resume tomorrow.  My muscles are very sore still from dancing for 3 hours last night! LOL.  I also still have a headache from the lack of sleep.  I wish I were more like other people (like my husband) who can go without much sleep and be fine.  Not me - a lack of sleep really affects me! 
Well have a great day - I'm back to work tomrrow and it will be crazy since I have to catch up on 2 days off from work.  But I'll be bringing my work out gear!!!! :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Its 11am and I'm hungry...

I've had coffee and a half a banana. I've recorded it. I'm hungry but I don't want to blow it today.  I find if I eat less during the day - its harder to eat a larger dinner.   If I eat more during the day, I'm able to eat much more for dinner.  Since I am going out to dinner before the concert tonight and I don't want to screw up today.  I have to leave in 2 hours and I'm going to make myself work out for 45 mins, take a shower, do my hair and make-up, and plan my outfit for tonight.  I also have to clean my car since I'm driving everyone to the concert. 
Not sure where we'll end up for dinner but I am committed to making the right choices today.  I don't feel good about how I look today - but perhaps if I jump on the treamill - work out a little which I'm noticing makes me feel stronger mentally - it will curb my hunger and make me feel better.

This constant rain isn't helping either with the moods.  I need some sunshine!!!  See you all tomorrow - hope you have a WONDERFUL Tuesday!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Off to a great week!

I worked out today!  And I kept my calories in check!  Not only that, I faithfully tracked my calories and work out on caloriecount.com AND I resisted the Dove chocolates in the cabinet! Woot!  I was surprised how much I went over my calories and consumed 1700 calories yesterday and I actually thought I was doing well.  Today is much better.  I was very impressed with the new updates on caloriecount since it now analyzes your day and gives you a very detailed readout on calories, nutrients, protein, fats (sat and unsat), cholesterol, fiber, calorie deficit vs. overage customized to you.  I'm surprised that I was low on some nutrients and fiber but met the protien.  It helps me to decide what to change and what to add into my diet tomorrow.
Something I am learning since I am eating the foods I'm supposed to - if I keep eating - and push past what i should be eating, my stomach lets me!  And the more I eat.....the more I can eat!  If I stop early on, it almost seems like the food doesn't get used to going through the band.  It feels tighter.  If I push it - and eat more than I really should - the band just seems to loosen up and let me!  If it stayed this way, it could be a good thing.  It would occasionally allow me to eat but restrict me most of the time.
Today, for example, I packed a tunafish sandwich.  I could only eat less than half before I worked out.   I know that's because I didn't eat breakfast - only coffee.  I ate the other half of the sandwich driving back to work after I worked out.  I was quite full - but satisfactorily full.  I had greek yogurt and a bananna still that I had packed that I couldn't eat.  No way.  Then tonight I had about 1 cup of chili.  Just right.  I feel good - satisfied.  (smile)

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Charlottesville, VA with 3 other girls (one is my sister) and we are going to see my boyfriend John Mayer!  Woohoooo!  We're going to drive home afterwards so I won't get home until about 3am.  Going to have to fuel up on the Sbux!  I can't wait!  I hope I'm able to sneak my camera in - its one of those with the detachable lens that most places won't let you bring into a concert.  I hope I have lots of great pictures to share!  And if you're wondering how I feel about his lastest screw up in the Playboy article - I think he was stupid for what he said.  Hopefully he learned something from it and grew up a little.  Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.  Well, I do still like him for all the other reasons I liked him before.  People say stupid things sometimes, no excuses, but I'm going to enjoy the concert tomorrow! :)   

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Eating the right foods

This week I am going to work on the types of food that I eat.  I have been eating foods that are easy with the band and those almost always equate to high calorie foods.  It truly is amazing how the food that is the WORST for you is the easiest to eat and for the band to tolerate.  I have not been eating salads - I've been eating cheese, nacho cheese, refried beans, chips, salsa, ice cream.  But mostly cheesy things.  WHAT exactly was I thinking?  I have not been regularly eating vegetables - like steamed broccoli, greens, beans, etc.  I realized I have avoided them b/c they are hard to eat.  Since I have been consciously improving what I'm eating, I'm getting stuck a lot more.  Yuck-O!  Anyway, I am consciously counting my calories again and I am planning and concentrating on planning my meals.  That's what I'm supposed to do!  I usually lose control at work b/c I am always rushing - I don't eat breakfast before I leave b/c I'm so busy trying to get the kids ready - one on the bus and take the other one to the sitter.  I the rush to work, grab a cofffee and get the day going.  I don't eat until 10am - or I just plain forget until its noon and then I just eat lunch.  I go for what's considered a slider food - pastas, gravies, soup, cheesy things.  This past week, however, I brought a great salad, a turkey and swiss sandwich the next and you know what?  They were difficult to get down.  I was hungry, rushing yet again to gulp it down.  I realized that's why I never eat the way I'm supposed to b/c I DON'T ALLOW myself enough time to eat them.  It takes me about 45 mins to get the salad down.  About 30 to get the sandwich down.  Well - that's how its supposed to work!!    For lunch today, I ate about a cup of butter beans and potatoes - awesomely good leftovers from last night.  A very COZY lunch!  This is all I ate - I could have had more - but I stopped at this: 
I was catching up on everyone's blogs today and I was reading where one of you went to a nutritionist - and she stated you should be at 900 calories.  Gosh that seems so low - but I'm going to shoot for that b/c I the same height at 5'4".  I've gotten a week behind me of regular exercise - I'm going to keep that up too.  I feel good that I'm getting to place where I am back on track.  I just know I am.  I'm not going to fail at this.  I'm not going to let that happen so I'm going to do something about it.
I also just got a new phone - its a Droid which is Verizon's version of the iPhone.  I'm going to figure out how to subsribe to all your blogs and get updates.  I'm also able to use caloriecount.com on it.  I know many of you love thedailyplate.  I'm not sure which one is best or what the advantages are.  I just know I need to track my calories and I'd really like to be able to do it from my phone so I can update it throughout the day. 
On the craft front, I'm on the last sleeve on an Easter sweater I'm making my daughter.  I'm about half way done and soon I'll be able to sew it up and try it on her.  I think I'll actually make it by Easter!  Sweaters take a very very long time to make - especially when you have NO free time.  I'll share pics on her when its done - here's how it looks right now:
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