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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Am I ready for a 2nd fill?

You all know I've been contemplating this one and know that I need a 2nd fill, but the 2 yr old in me "I can do it myself"  and lose weight just like I am today with one fill always seems to dissuade me.  I know I need another fill if I want to see any changes so I called, made a fill appt for this Friday at 12:30pm.  I forgot that we planned to go apple picking this weekend with the kids and go to a 'fall festival' in the mountains.  My mom also called today and told me she could go with us, which I'm very happy about!  Here's the dilemma.  I suspect I'll be very, very tight and need to be on liquids and I'm afraid to eat that way in front of my mom and b/c she doesn't know about my band, she'll think something is wrong with me.  I'm also afraid of not enjoying some 'fall festival' food like hot cider and caramel apples!  Not to mention our food choices will be limited during meal times and I just don't know what to expect.  I think I should call and change the appt to Monday instead.  Think I'll do that.....
On another note - I went to get my annual MRI (precautionary high breast cancer risk) and for the FIRST time I had to write down on paper that I had an 'implant.'  I know this is insignificant to many of you - but for some reason it was a BIG deal to me to write that down and have other people know.  Its not come up in any of my dr appts - and I didn't write it down when I had that minor out-patient surgery a few mos ago.  Today I did write it down.  The nurse barely said anything about it just confirmed it as she was scanning my history prior to the MRI.  Am I ashamed of my band?  No.  I'm actually quite proud that I have made a conscious choice to DO something that is a productive step towards better health.  I am lowering my cancer risk by dropping this weight and I am proud that I'm doing something about that.  I am absolutely NOT ashamed NOR feel like this is in any way the 'easy' way out.  It surprises me everyday how difficult this really is.  No matter how much you read before hand - seeing people drop a hundred pounds in a year is really awe inspiring - and knowing just how much of the WORK is on the person and not the band is still eye opening to me. 


  1. I think if you are really worried about being too tight over the weekend you should re-schedule for Monday. What's a couple days if it gives you peace of mind.

  2. I agree with Robyn.. change the appoint, hun. No use stressing and having to be on liquids when you want to have a nice time with your folks.
    Good luck with the MRI..will be thinking of you

  3. You could always play the "my stomach just feels a little weird" card and that could be your excuse for not eating.

  4. I just wanted to say I really appreciated the kind comments from my yucky day yesterday, and also your own personal story about how you came to pay for LBS on your own. I think that's what I'm coming to, and it's good to hear of others who have come before me! Thanks!!

  5. thanks for the suggestions guys. I went ahead and rescheduled it for Monday. This way I'm not testing out a new fill - out of the area and in front of my mom. :)
    Oh and welcome back Dash!!
    And - Vi - I'm glad to share my experience with self pay anytime! :)


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