Got on the scale this a.m. and it said 218.5, got off and back on and it said 219.0 - but that means.....its below 220 - even if it was just as soon as I got up and went pee to git rid of a little overnight water weight! LOL. I've been more tight than normal (work stress and period) and unable to eat as much. I've also noticed, the longer I go without eating, the tighter my band is when I DO go to eat something. That seems to stop me from eating too much and is helping with the weight loss.
So GEN's post got me thinking....how did I gain this weight? I was always athletic growing up - solid build -never tiny. I grew big boobs and embarassed I used to make these "ALBA" shakes out of a powder and ice to make like a chocolate shake that only had about 80 cals in it to lose weight. I never ate breakfast, skipped lunch, and ran track after school and was pretty small - about 130lbs - which for me was a size 8 and m/l tops. I moved out of my parents home to live with my boyfriend while I worked full time and we lived on our own - I also went to school at night. It was a lot of stress for a 18-20 yr old. That's when I began gaining weight. I missed my family home and I felt a lot of stress and I think I ate to compensate. I tried to re-create what I had at home - the comfort of home = food. After a few years, I broke up with boyfriend and weighed about 160-170. I moved back home, met my future husband, and lost weight to about the 155 range. I'm short but well proportioned so I carried it pretty well. I got married when I was 25, and slowly began to gain weight. I always worked full time and went to school. I got promoted quickly at work and had a very high stress job at a young age - again I comforted myself with food and I never worked out. Then, my Dad (my favorite person in the world!) got cancer and over two years I was so sad over the whole thing (dispair,hope, dispair). I lost weight and gained weight. I was about 180 when he passed away - when I was 29. I was laid off my job but re-hired into a new job w same company in a local office that same week my dad died. SUCKY week. 2 yrs later, I got pregnant and for the first time I was proud to have a big belly! Ate like a crazy woman and I gained 55lbs. I weighed 240 AFTER I delivered him at age 32. I never got below 200 after that and for 5-6 years I was the heaviest I've ever been and hovered in the 220-230 range. Then I decided to start working out, I took adipex appetite suppresant, and worked out with a trainer. I dropped to 198 (my lowest in 10 yrs) and found out I was pg with my daughter. That was 3 years ago. I worked out the entire time I was pg with her - I even worked out the day I had her, I only gained 20 lbs total. After I delivered her, I dropped 20lbs in one week (she weighed 9lbs alone!) It was totally surreal to see the scale move that much in one week. I stopped working out b/c I was a very exhausted working mom at a high-stress demanding job. And in one year, I gained 25 lbs to 232. Six mos ago I got the band. I am now working out again, eating much less, and taking the band experience very slow. My "baby" is 2 yrs old and I weighed 219 this morning. My weight really is going in the right direction, just very slowly and I'm ok with that. I eat to comfort myself from stress and get back the feeling I had growing up in my house at home. I wish I could give my kids the amazing experience I had growing up - it really was just - picturesque. I feel guilty that I work so much but I'm getting better at that. I reward myself with food b/c I have such a high-stress job but I'm getting much better about that too. While I'm at it, I absolutely despise my mother in law b/c she's just mean spirited and selfish. And I handle her now with a shrug and pluck off my shoulder. Hee Hee - it just felt appropriate to add her in! LOL. Must be turning 40 that makes some of that difference for me. My priorities are getting more aligned, I could care less and less about the small stuff, and I'm a much stronger woman than I was a year ago. Wooot! 40 is great so far!
Congratulations on the 219! Such a great accomplishment. You are in the teens!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your loss!
ReplyDelete219! That is awesome.
ReplyDeleteBut OMG, are you like my missing twin? SO many similarities! I need to come back and comment more later.
thanks Jenny & Dawn - it really IS amazing and I'm honestly holding my breath thinking that its going to go back up into the 20's!
ReplyDeleteHa Gen! let me guess - its the MIL thing....LOL!