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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

219 today!!!!!! Is it really true?

Got on the scale this a.m. and it said 218.5, got off and back on and it said 219.0 - but that means.....its below 220 - even if it was just as soon as I got up and went pee to git rid of a little overnight water weight! LOL. I've been more tight than normal (work stress and period) and unable to eat as much. I've also noticed, the longer I go without eating, the tighter my band is when I DO go to eat something. That seems to stop me from eating too much and is helping with the weight loss.
So GEN's post got me thinking....how did I gain this weight?  I was always athletic growing up - solid build -never tiny.  I grew big boobs and embarassed I used to make these "ALBA" shakes out of a powder and ice to make like a chocolate shake that only had about 80 cals in it to lose weight.  I never ate breakfast, skipped lunch, and ran track after school and was pretty small - about 130lbs - which for me was a size 8 and m/l tops.  I moved out of my parents home to live with my boyfriend while I worked full time and we lived on our own - I also went to school at night.  It was a lot of stress for a 18-20 yr old.  That's when I began gaining weight.  I missed my family home and I felt a lot of stress and I think I ate to compensate.  I tried to re-create what I had at home - the comfort of home = food.  After a few years, I broke up with boyfriend and weighed about 160-170.  I moved back home, met my future husband, and lost weight to about the 155 range.  I'm short but well proportioned so I carried it pretty well.  I got married when I was 25, and slowly began to gain weight.  I always worked full time and went to school.  I got promoted quickly at work and had a very high stress job at a young age - again I comforted myself with food and I never worked out.  Then, my Dad (my favorite person in the world!) got cancer and over two years I was so sad over the whole thing (dispair,hope, dispair).  I lost weight and gained weight.  I was about 180 when he passed away - when I was 29.  I was laid off my job but re-hired into a new job w same company in a local office that same week my dad died.  SUCKY week.   2 yrs later, I got  pregnant and for the first time I was proud to have a big belly!  Ate like a crazy woman and I gained 55lbs.  I weighed 240 AFTER I delivered him at age 32.  I never got below 200 after that and for 5-6 years I was the heaviest I've ever been and hovered in the 220-230 range.  Then I decided to start working out, I took adipex appetite suppresant, and worked out with a trainer.  I dropped to 198 (my lowest in 10 yrs) and found out I was pg with my daughter.  That was 3 years ago.  I worked out the entire time I was pg with her - I even worked out the day I had her, I only gained 20 lbs total.  After I delivered her, I dropped 20lbs in one week (she weighed 9lbs alone!)  It was totally surreal to see the scale move that much in one week.  I stopped working out b/c I was a very exhausted working mom at a high-stress demanding job.  And in one year, I gained 25 lbs to 232. Six mos ago I got the band.  I am now working out again, eating much less, and taking the band experience very slow.  My "baby" is 2 yrs old and I weighed 219 this morning.  My weight really is going in the right direction, just very slowly and I'm ok with that.  I eat to comfort myself from stress and get back the feeling I had growing up in my house at home.  I wish I could give my kids the amazing experience I had growing up - it really was just - picturesque.  I feel guilty that I work so much but I'm getting better at that.  I reward myself with food b/c I have such a high-stress job but I'm getting much better about that too.  While I'm at it, I absolutely despise my mother in law b/c she's just mean spirited and selfish.  And I handle her now with a shrug and pluck off my shoulder.  Hee Hee - it just felt appropriate to add her in! LOL.   Must be turning 40 that makes some of that difference for me.  My priorities are getting more aligned, I could care less and less about the small stuff, and I'm a much stronger woman than I was a year ago.  Wooot!  40 is great so far!


  1. Congratulations on the 219! Such a great accomplishment. You are in the teens!!

  2. 219! That is awesome.

    But OMG, are you like my missing twin? SO many similarities! I need to come back and comment more later.

  3. thanks Jenny & Dawn - it really IS amazing and I'm honestly holding my breath thinking that its going to go back up into the 20's!
    Ha Gen! let me guess - its the MIL thing....LOL!


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