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Sunday, August 2, 2009

I thought it would be easier

I was banded 3/9/09 in Mexico. I am a professional who works full-time and tries to balance excelling at work with my desire to be like Martha Stewart at home. I love crafts, cooking, creativity, and all things cozy but also love the fruits that work life brings to me and my family. I have 2 kids, the Entrepreneur and Busy Bee. I am married to pretty darn amazing man who somehow meets my demanding needs and demanding needs of the kids too. He does more at home than I do - mostly because I work longer hours and try to fit in work-outs 5x per week.

I've decided to start the blog b/c its been hard for me to find the detail of information that I feel like I need to discover the secret to success. I have lost only 10lbs since I was banded - and I've only had one fill - in June - 3 mos after I was banded. I have 1.8 ccs in my band - and I'm at a place where I can eat anything I want and can eat a little too much but that is dependant completely on the mood of my band.

When I say the mood of my band, I am tighter in the a.m., drinking or eating warm things like coffee, hot oatmeal and he like relax the band and I can eat almost anything. Stress definitely causes more restriction for me. I cannot drink sodas or beer - sodas I don't miss, Corona, now that's a different story.

I've been working out now - since we all know that's what we need to do to lose weight - for about 3 weeks. I'm working out with a trainer 2x per week for 60mins and I am run/walking for 60 mins about 2-3 times per week. Right now I walk for 10mins, run for 15, walk for 5, run for 15, then walk the last 15.

The other thing, I'm doing wrong is I am drinking while eating. At first, I know it was because I felt like I missed food. I was really upset that I couldn't enjoy food like I had and I really don't want to give up the pleasure I feel when I get a well cooked, cozy meal. I basically just ate what I wanted and didn't watch my portions. I definitely eat slower, I have just found that I grazed now which made up for the smaller portions I was forced into b/c of the band. Looking back, I honestly felt in the first few months like it was more of a curse than the best thing that's happened to me like most other people. I didn't enjoy eating (like I was used to) and while I consciously knew this is what I signed up for (paid in full myself for), there were still many unknowns since this banding seems to be quite personal for everyone.

Oh, the think I'm always interested in is where people start and where they're trying to get to. So let me admit, right here in blogland, in writing, for all the world to see just how out of control I am with my weight. I weigh 224 right now, I weighed 236 the week before surgery. I lost 10lbs on he pre-op diet, got down to 218 then gained to 224. I was 228 when I got my first fill, 3 mos after getting banded and now 2 mos later I'm 224.

I am now committed to tracking my calories, eating the protein first so that it fills my stomach. I'm learning. I'm also learning from many other blogs out there that my failure isn't isolated. And I'm not a failure yet - even thought I thought I was. I realized I'm just not doing what I'm supposed to and this band isn't magic. I'm pretty smart at outsmarting the band and as a result, I'm not losing weight. Well, I plan to do it now - and I'm learning what I'm supposed to be doing. Even if I'm successful, I'm going to give it one hell of a good (and honest) try.

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