The new pattern seems to be that I'm tight in the a.m. (I was before this fill also) and by lunchtime - I can eat pretty much whatever I want. By dinnertime - forget it - I actually ate a slice of pizza the other night. How can only .2 cc's - that's POINT TWO cc's make me go from sleepless acid filled nights to basically letting me eat what I want? I'm at 2.5ccs in a 4cc band now.
I've done well, I've not allowed myself to get away with eating everything and anything in sight. I have tested the band a few times, however, just to try to learn what I could and couldn't do. Maybe that's a mistake - I'm not sure why I test the limits of the band. I guess I just want to understand better what restriction is supposed to feel like and I understand it to feel like I did in the first few days of this last fill. It felt then like I could eat a smaller but reasonable portion, feel contentedly full on that smaller portion, but not so full that I'm miserable and slime or PB.
I'm craving chocolate and carbs again. I know if I give in, it just leads down that endless loop of wanting more. It reminds me of a documentary on cocaine addition I watched the other night. Like a coke addict, it takes more and more of the stuff to get the same high because the body adjusts to it. It seems to takes more and more chocolate and carbs to make me happy. Only, I'm never really satisfied - I'm just driven to eat more of the stuff. An endless loop! I am going to figure out how to minimize it b/c I don't subscribe to the idea that we should never have chocolate or carbs! That would be terrible! :)
I'm doing well with exercise. Staying strong and being consistent! I will work tonight on my lunches for next week. I'm going to plan them out and pack them in the freezer or fridge so I don't misstep this week on the food front. I have some gumbo made with turkey sausage already in the freezer, I'll make some tuna salad, and pre-cut some veggies. It makes such a difference to pre-cut veggies and have them ready to go! I also already have dinners planned for the week - its essential in my house b/c of the kids and the lack of time when I get home in the evenings!
I hope you all have a great week this week!