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Monday, January 17, 2011

Well, this ISN'T it...

Well, I've given it a few days and it turns out my recent fill, then unfill, leaving me with a net .3ccs added to my band just isn't the sweet spot I'd been hoping for.  After 3 nights of horrendous reflux to the point that I was waking every 30 mins to an hour choking on acid,  I know I did the right thing by getting a small unfill of only .2ccs.  I'm just disappointed that what I've been adjusted to last week really isn't the place I wanted to be.

The new pattern seems to be that I'm tight in the a.m. (I was before this fill also) and by lunchtime - I can eat pretty much whatever I want.  By dinnertime - forget it - I actually ate a slice of pizza the other night. How can only .2 cc's - that's POINT TWO cc's make me go from sleepless acid filled nights to basically letting me eat what I want?  I'm at 2.5ccs in a 4cc band now.

I've done well, I've not allowed myself to get away with eating everything and anything in sight.  I have tested the band a few times, however,  just to try to learn what I could and couldn't do.  Maybe that's a mistake - I'm not sure why I test the limits of the band.  I guess I just want to understand better what restriction is supposed to feel like and I understand it to feel like I did in the first few days of this last fill.  It felt then like I could eat a smaller but reasonable portion, feel contentedly full on that smaller portion, but not so full that I'm miserable and slime or PB.  

I'm craving chocolate and carbs again.  I know if I give in, it just leads down that endless loop of wanting  more.  It reminds me of a documentary on cocaine addition I watched the other night.  Like a coke addict, it takes more and more of the stuff to get the same high because the body adjusts to it.  It seems to takes more and more chocolate and carbs to make me happy.  Only, I'm never really satisfied - I'm just driven to eat more of the stuff.  An endless loop!   I am going to figure out how to minimize it b/c I don't subscribe to the idea that we should never have chocolate or carbs!  That would be terrible! :)

I'm doing well with exercise.  Staying strong and being consistent!  I will work tonight on my lunches for next week.  I'm going to plan them out and pack them in the freezer or fridge so I don't misstep this week on the food front.  I have some gumbo made with turkey sausage already in the freezer, I'll make some tuna salad, and pre-cut some veggies.  It makes such a difference to pre-cut veggies and have them ready to go!  I also already have dinners planned for the week - its essential in my house b/c of the kids and the lack of time when I get home in the evenings!

I hope you all have a great week this week!


  1. My question to you is this: when you get to the afternoon, are you actually hungry for all the things you CAN eat, or are you waiting for the band to tell you that you CAN'T eat?

    For me, my band doesn't tell me I can't eat anything. I can eat the chewiest, crustiest bread first thing in the morning. But I'm not hungry. SO it's been all about listening to my body and only eating my cup of food when my tummy is rumbling...which is almost never! Technically, the band isn't supposed to be so tight that we PB. All it's there to do is control your appetite. Mine does that. If yours isn't, then you should go ask your Dr. what's going on.

  2. That's insightful for me b/c I'm not hungry - I think I am waiting for the band to control what I eat........I need to spend some time thinking through this. Thanks Gilly.

  3. I can eat all foods too, but I consider that a GOOD thing. If I were too tight to eat pizza or bread, I'd go get an unfill as I consider that a problem. I want my band to help keep my portions reasonable, but not to stop me from eating the foods I love. Does that make sense?

  4. I'm with the others-- I can eat anything I want and I'm glad for that. But the band makes me way less hungry and I get full much faster. So today, for instance, I decided to have a very unhealthy lunch of boneless buffalo wings at Zaxby's. I was able to eat two small boneless wings, very slowly, and 3 french fries before I was 100% totally full. I was then full for 5 hours.

    I like it this way-- it helps me with hunger but doesn't make eating a horror show of throwing up and pain. Eh, I don't ever want to live like that.

    For me, if I'm not starving I can usually make good choices but I still want to enjoy life and enjoy bad-for-me food on occasion. The band at my fill level gives me the best of both worlds.

  5. I think what you describe with Carbs is very accurate, especially if they do not have much fiber or holding power.. (such as most sweets)..I am not talking about oatmeal or a banana or apple.. but ice cream or chocolate.. it can put anyone in a carb tizzy.. What I have found is going with a good solid protein (chicken, cheese, or something with staying power)..if (when) I have a portion of solid protein, I find that can hold me over for an entire day.. although I need to chew the hell out of it.. almost make it a real mushie consistency.. otherwise the easy way out for me is to eat chili or soup..
    I always think its a good idea after a fill to take it easy hot liquids and mushies (test your fill) then move on.. (just my two cents worth).. hugs to you.

  6. It's really hard sometimes to figure out what you need restriction wise to be successful (compared to others). After a year and a half I think I realize that good restriction for me is liquids only before 10AM, then chili or soup at lunch and anything I want for dinner. I can eat a piece of thin crust pizza for dinner (once a week) and I like that, but if that doesn't work for you it's something you have to work out. I agree with Gilly that it's a lot about listening to your hunger. Good luck!!

  7. Amanda - that does make sense - thanks. I'm expecting the band to stop me and not allow me to continue to eat as much as I want.
    And I do need to stick with some solid protein as Barbara suggests - b/c if I can eat what I want, I need to lay off the soft stuff and eat a good solid protein which I'm sure will fill me up. I'm making bad choices which is what got me here in the first place! LOL.
    Linda - your restriction is what I think I'm after. I don't want to not be able to eat anything - that's just not enjoying life at all - but like everyone has already said, I'm eating when I'm not hungry. That's for sure and that's what I'm going to STOP! I need to take control of that myself and use the band as the tool it is - not as the one that's in control. I know that I AM!
    I'm so glad there are such insightful and helpful support out there! I'm going to figure this out! And when I do - WATCH OUT! Because I'm going to get this weight off!

  8. Grrr...I just wrote a long response and it got deleted. Anyway, I think everyone is right about focusing on your hunger. Really take some time to think about whether or not you are hungry before you eat. More protein and cut out the chocolate and stuff totally FOR A WHILE. No one is telling you you can never have it. But being free of the bad carbs will really help. Here's the quote from the lapband doc's website I tried to post before. Hope this works. Remembering these things helps me a bunch:

    Tightening the band is not how you lose weight. You lose weight by eating three small meals per day made up of sensible, nutritious food with one protein snack during the course of the day. Tightening the band allows you to do that without feeling hungry and deprived. There is no other reason to fill the band.
    We will not fill the band because, ” I can eat more than I should.” That is a failure of the person, not the band. Why? Because you should be testing the band not by seeing how much you can, but by seeing how little you can eat and not be hungry again for several hours. If try to eat as much as you can until you throw-up, then you are simply not using your band correctly. If you are losing weight and you are not hungry, it doesn’t matter if you NEVER have a PB. I have patients say they are concerned because despite losing 60 or more pounds, they can still eat bread and that can’t be right. The truth is, that is the best of all.

  9. Also, meant to say, I feel like my restriction is perfect right now. And I can eat pizza. One slice. If I eat more, I will probably be uncomfortable, but most importantly, with good restriction I am FULL after one slice and I KNOW I do not need anymore. In fact, the one-slice-only test is one I use to decide about my restriction. I think I should be able to eat one piece, slowly, and be full. If this is true, I am in the right place. Its all about the hunger. YOU CAN DO THIS! Listen to your body, be kind to yourself, and you will get there.

  10. I think everyone has given you good advice. I wear my band tight and I can even eat a piece of pizza--slowly :). There is a problem here in that all of us feel restriction slightly differently. I can eat food at any time of the day (even breakfast) as long as I go slowly and listen. the slowly and listening is the key...It really is partially a mind set and partially a too to help you stop at any given meal (but not prevent).



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