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Friday, October 16, 2009

This fill is working!

Lost again - got on the scale and I'm 214 today.  WOW WOW WOW!  Does this mean I'm going to start losing the weight now?  Am I finally going to be successful like all my fellow band bloggers?  I'm afraid to go there b/c I don't want to jinx myself!  I put some dates on my weight loss goals - I didn't do that before b/c I was tired of the disappointments when I didn't reach them.  Can I really get to Onederland by Thanksgiving and the low 190's by Christmas?!!?  I keep trying to stop myself from thinking those things and just go with the flow.....but I can't help it! I day dream about it! :)

Tonight I am going to dinner with my girlfriends to my favorite restaurant to celebrate one of our birthdays.  I know two of them are going to pressure me to eat more but I'm going to make up some excuse and hope they leave it alone.  I keep thinking about whether I am being authentic by keeping this from them, and its not that they wouldn't understand or be supportive, I just know that people make mistakes and DO talk about things they know and I feel that if I tell anyone - there is just the known risk that many people could find out.  It could be one of them accidentally telling someone, being overheard, etc.  I can't expect them NOT to tell their husbands and I just feel like that would be the first step of it getting out somehow.  I also can't see telling my girlfriends and not my family.  I will likely tell my sisters and my mom at some point - b/c I know they could keep it to themselves but I couldn't tell my SIL b/c she cannot keep it to herself.  Therefore, I can't tell my brother.  All that - all the upkeep- is why I choose to just keep it between my husband and myself.  Its just easier and simpler, you know? 
Gen blogged about the "half cup" at a time vs. calorie counting.  Great post - and the 'half cup' at a time is why I chose to get the 2nd fill.  I keep reading many success stories where they are eating 1/2 cup per meal and I'm wondering if this is what it will take for me to get the scale moving.  That is pretty much what I'm eating right now.  I can tell you that its not easy bc I WANT to eat more and enjoy the taste of the food over and over again.  But the restriction is definitely stopping me.  I still am having issues where I can't seem to burp the air and its turning into gas in my stomach, etc.  When I go to bed at night my stomach is bloated from the air and I have gas pains. *sigh* oh the embarassing honesty.....good thing we all understand each other!
Yesterday I was picking up party food for Busy Bee's birthday and they had some really nice Calvin Klein jeans at Costo.  Very cute - they went up to size 14.  I held up the 14 and thought - can you imagine being able to fit in a size 14 jeans?  I just can't imagine.  I wore size 14 jeans 4 years ago before I got pg with BusyBee - and I weighed about 198.  Amy had a really great post about how many sizes you really drop in the low 200's to 190's.  Its so true.  I'm 214 and am wearing my size 18's and could wear 16's but they would be tight.  I've not worn larger than an 18, even at 235 (it was, of course tight)  I wore that size.  Once I get down to 210, I'm sure I'll be in the 16's comfortably.  I'll need to be in the 180-190's to fit into 14's comfortably, I think.  I have absolutely NO idea what weight I'd be to fit into a 12 - I'm guessing 160-170's?   I just so enjoy reading other bloggers posts when they change sizes.  I really love the pictures too that all of you post b/c it is so inspiring to me and allows me to dream!
Have a wonderful day everyone!!


  1. Congrats on the loss. I'm so happy for you that you're doing so well!

  2. I'm still waiting to test Amy's (and Catherine's) theory but I guess it makes sense: when we are skinnier, the weight loss shows more.
    You sound upbeat and positive... which is so cool. I wish the scales would move for me... I had another fill day before yesterday but nope: I am still stuck.
    Have a lovely weekend xx

  3. Thanks Dawn and Robyn! I am so very happy the scale moved, but I have a sense that my weight may be stuck here again. I've not seen the scale move in 4 days and it actually went up (prob water) 1 lb to 215. But I'm plenty happy with that considering I was stagnant for quite a few months there! Thanks for the encouragement!
    Dash - I'm sure you'll be testing that theory VERY soon! :) Where are you on your fills? Are you feeling any restriction?

  4. Congrats on the scale moving and getting better restriction!
    I agree with the smaller you are, the bigger difference it makes in fewer pounds.
    nobody mentioned a thing after 30, heck even after 50 pounds loss, but now, if i lose even 5 lbs between seeing someone, they think i've lost a ton!


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