I'm shocked, I actually like what I see

I inadvertently looked in the bathroom mirror tonight after trying to clean the sink of dried toothpaste and other messes my kids left behind.  I caught a glimpse of myself and saw that my face it just a little thinner.  I looked at my chest and neck and jawline.  I saw my shoulders and upper body in such a way that I've not seen in a very, very long time.  I saw the potential me emerging out from behind the old me!  I can't tell you guys what has changed exactly, but I can see that if I can continue down this path of fat loss and muscle gain, I can really do something with my body and feel happy about what I see.  To like what I look like an perhaps not cringe each time I see the reflection of myself in the mirror or in pictures.  Have I turned a corner?  Am I jinxing myself?

I remember one time catching my reflection in the rear view mirror as I sat in the passenger seat of the Tahoe while my family and were driving somewhere....I remember the shock of seeing my face, so big and swollen and ugly.  I didn't recognize myself and was surprised thinking "Is that what I look like?  Is that what other people see?"  I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what I looked like.  Today was a day like that only - I saw myself and thought "I really AM losing weight"  "I don't look horrible"  "Maybe I can really do this"  What a wonderful feeling.  I had to stop what I was doing and come and type this.  I'm feeling exciting that if I can keep this going, I can really become the person I've always wanted to be physically.  I've gotta get things going, have to get the losses moving along.  I really, really want to accomplish this.  I want to feel proud of the way my body looks physically strong.    And that's WAY cool......