Hadn't tried to lose, got my (.) and lost 2 lbs, go figure....

Today is my dear first born's birthday.  Its late, I'm tired, but wanted to post real quick.  It went well - I bought all the food and didn't cook a thing!  I'll post pics but wanted to say 2 things.  I lost 2 lbs without trying (what the Hell?)  and I wore pants today that were my 'skinny' tight pants 6 mos ago.  They're too big in the waist now and I kept having to pull them up.  niiiice. feeling!

Was going well, jumping back on...

The business of this week got away from me and resulted in my eating off plan and not working out.  I've really been doing great, so I'm not sure why I allowed it to happen.  Well, I'm going back on plan and going to enjoy the benefits of exercise.  I'm more tired when I get home from work when I'm not walking/running so that's incentive enough to get going again!  I also connected with my personal trainer again, so I know her schedule and I can go after work a few times a week.  Baseball games after work, baseball practice 2x per week after work have been making it hard.  I just need to plan and re-adjust my schedule to fit it in!
I've also been feeling really hungry in the mornings and at about 3pm.  I'm starving when I get home and I eat too fast and the wrong things.  Its strange to have that hunger/desperation feeling back.  So I know that means I need a fill.  Fills cost me $150 so I take them seriously!  I'm not losing, I'm eating bigger portion sizes, so I know its time!  I have a band that can only be filled to 4ccs, Its a 10cm circumference band that holds 4ccs of saline volume.  Anyone else out there like me?  It sounds like most of you have the larger bands that can hold 10ccs of volume.  I've only had 2 fills and I currently have 2.2ccs in my 4cc band.  I'm really torn because I know I only need and want a very small fill but I think it will kick start what I need to get this weight loss moving again.  I've stalled and am doing all the right things exercising, eating whole protein, etc.   Before 11am, I can't even eat a full cup of raisin bran.  Around 12-1pm, my band opens up and I can eat pretty much as much as I want of anything - some days I feel more restricted than others.  At night when I get home, I can eat ANYTHING I want and as much as I want.  I wish my restriction was a little more constant throughout the day.  I say this b/c getting a small fill is going to fix the evening hunger and ability to eat anything - but it will likely mean I will have a really tough time eating - I probably won't be able to eat anything but a protein shake for bfast and then a very small amount of protein for lunch.  I'm 206 today so I'm still bouncing around the same pounds for the last few months.  I know that I need to do this if I want to make this happen.  I'm going to make the appointment today........
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!  My husbands dad has been tied up out of the country -he's flying in today finally after being delayed a week because of the Volcano in Iceland.  He's making it just in time for my son's birthday tomorrow.  They are all going out on a head boat fishing - so my poor father in law is going to be dog tired tomorrow!  But I know he's glad to be back!  I'll be so busy this weekend cleaning and getting ready for the party tomorrow.  At least I weigh 30 lbs less for his birthday this year than I did last year! :)

Question - how do you respond/manage comments on your blog?

Lost another .5 yesterday, so I'm at 205.5 today.  I'm really happy about that!  I've been focused on getting the 45 mins of walking (and jogging for short periods only if I feel like it) and that has gone well!  I've reconnected with my personal trainer and will start going next week for 2 days/week.  I've been at this weight before, only I was 'smaller' size-wise at this weight before.  Why?  Its because the last time I lost this weight, I did it working out with a trainer 3x per week and running regularly.  I did a lot of weights also.  I was much more toned and therefore smaller.  Especially when it comes to my middle and my legs.  So I'll continue my cardio - but I just need to get the resistance training and all the ab/squat work in so I can tone myself up a bit.  Shorts season is here and I'm NOT ready! LOL. 
I have a question I'd really like some feedback on - how do you guys manage the blogs you read and how do you respond to them? 
Do you read your posts though an email feed and then respond individually and directly to the posts via email? 
Or do you just respond on your own blog?  I have always responded to MUCH appreciated comments on my blog itself.  But what do you all do?
I also comment on your blogs, of course, but only about your topic, of course.
I guess I just appreciate the words of advice so much and want to make sure you all know that and by responding on my blog alone - I'm not sure you guys see that or get my responses.
I also just changed the setting so I can see comments immediately by blogger kicking off an email to me which I see with my cell phone.
I have blogger reader set up, but I can't access it from work, only from home which is a small window of time in the evening.
Looking forward to finding out what you do so I can learn yet again from all you great women!!   

Moving down finally from this Easter weight gain

The scale is moving down, thank goodness, from the 5lbs I gained Easter week.  I'm down to 206 this morning - which is only 2lbs away from the 204 I was at 2 weeks ago.  I've been eating less (and avoiding chocolate) and decided to take it easy on myself working out.  I'm walking and doing shorting jogging stints - only because I was getting a really sore lower back from pushing myself to run.  I am enjoying the exercising more and at least I'm doing something!  I want to have a more positive experience from exercise - not just push myself hard and then be sore all day and night.  I'm also working hard to get 4 bottles of water in. 
I have a big work function in Washington DC the first week in May.  I really wanted to be below 200 at the point and wear some of my really nice suits since this is a very high brow event that include award dinners and workshops during the day.  I plan to go up a day early with my great friends that are also my co-workers and shop at Tyson's corner and Potomic Mills.  I really wanted to be in the 190's by now and wear my very nice expensive outfits that I still don't fit into.  I also know that its 2 weeks away and I'm not going to put that pressure on myself.
Are deadlines good?  Are they goals or are they unnecessary pressure?  Goals with time lines are good in real life - but are they really good when it comes to weight loss?  I'm not sure. 
I've really put a lot of pressure on myself and felt a lot of resentment because of weight goals.  For example, the one year mark of having the band.  I know its great for some - but for others like me, I just felt disappointed that I wasn't further along and progressing as well as I'd hoped.  Based off all I had read, it seemed like I understood that after 1 year - you've pretty much lost all that you're going to.  I even read studies in medical journals that asserted this.  I'm learning, however, from reading your blogs and your journeys - that this isn't the case!    So, I'm going to go through my own journey - at my own pace.  And I'm going to try to stop imagining myself at a certain weight in a certain month at a specific event!  I'm going to appreciate where I am !

I'm struggling with my lack of weight loss

I am struggling to understand why I am plateaued again and actually gained weight this week after 4 week of doing all the right things.  Admittedly, last week, I only worked out once and ate completely off-plan, starting with chocolate at Easter.  I am analyzing how much weight I've lost so far and trying to true that up with when I got my first fill.  I feel like a failure, but I know I will make this work.  I also know that I intentionally didn't get a fill for 6 mos after my surgery b/c I just wasn't ready for many reasons.  The point is that I'm ready now and I need to figure out what I need to do next.
I'm at the place - the threshold between dropping to my lowest weight since before I got pg with my daughter.  Its that place that I've read many of you blog about - its almost a psychological thing - what am I doing to sabotage moving past this mark on the scale.  I weighed 198 for about 2 minutes about 4 years ago.  I had lost about 30lbs on my own and worked out religiously to get there.  Prior to that, I've not been below 200 for about 10 years.  The lowest weight I actually remember is being is in the 170's and 180's when I got married 16 years ago.  My point is that I'm stuck here and I don't understand why.  Am I going to completely fail at this?  No, I'm not so I'm trying to figure out what to do next.
I read this on the consumer guide to bariatric surgery "Weight loss with gastric banding tends to be gradual. You may lose up to two or three pounds a week in the first year after the surgery, but one pound a week is the average. This slows in the 12 to 18 months after your surgery. On average, gastric banding produces a loss of about 40 percent of excess weight in the first year and 55 percent of excess weight in the second year. If you plateau at any point, your surgeon can give you a "fill."
So I lost 30lbs in the 6 mos after I got my first fill.  That puts me at December 09.  My total excess weight that I want to lose from my starting weight of 232 is 70lbs.  So a 40% loss of 70lbs would mean I should have lost 28 lbs. in the first year?  Doesn't that sound totally wrong?  If I were to lose 55% of my excess weight in this 2nd year, that would put me at losing another 38.5 lbs.  Wouldn't THAT be awesome!!??  If I lost 38.5 lbs from where I am right now, it would put me at a weight of 166.5 which would be pretty darn incredible. 
I guess I had the understanding that most of your weight loss is in the first year - and I've read that in a few studies.  How do you all feel about that 40% in the first year, 55% in the 2nd year statement above?  I'd love to know your thoughts and what your doctors have told you.

What a beautiful day

I'm eating a clean and healthy salad on the deck while the sun shines down on me.  Its chicken, kalamata olives, lettuce, feta and avocado.  I used a new salad dressing which I'm really liking  a lot.  I don't often find a dressing that I like a lot that's not terrible calorie and sugar wise.  Its "Greek Vinaigrette" by Kraft.  I also have used it when grilling or baking fish - its a fantastic marinade.  I'm also drinking this....

In an 8oz serving, it provides 100% of 12 vitamins.  I does have 26g of sugar, however.  I got it from Trader Joe's yesterday and it just tastes so refreshing with the bonus of all the vitamins too. 

I ate out every single day last week with friends at work.  I feel guilty about that b/c I usually use my lunch break to workout- and so I slacked on that last week.  The scale reflects my bad habits and I've actually gained weight.  Its the chocolate and lack of discipline!  So, I need to re-direct myself.  And I want to.  I'm going to run/walk this evening and get my butt back on track.  I have headaches for 2 days now - and I swear I think its the extra sugar and the lack of working out.

I'm also sitting here reading my latest issue of Clean Eating magazine.  I'm not sure if any of you subscribe - its centered around eating whole foods and its recipes are geared toward fewer ingredients (less complicated and time consuming) and towards using fresh or frozen ingredients vs. canned or processed.    And no, I still don't know how you make leftovers......sexy.  LOL!  Maybe by putting the word 'sex' on the cover of a food magazine, they thought they might sell a few more......
I don't often get to sit down, eat, AND read a magazine.  My 3 year old has been wearing my down with constant spills, messes, and constant TALKING.  Non-stop talking......anyway, like I said, its a beautiful day!
I stepped inside to type this up on the computer and and out the window see Hubby is trying to figure out how to throw a casting net so that he can teach our son.  My son wants to learn to do it so he can catch minnows for bait.  My son fishes constantly!   What's hilarious to me is that all my dear hubby is really making  - is a big 'ol tangled mess!

Do you see the frustration?  Its too funny.  At least from the inside looking out.  He'd kill me if he knew I was taking pictures of him....
Well, I hope all you girls have a wonderful weekend too!

Snapfish sweepstakes

Just thought I'd share a link to Snapfish's website -where they're having a give away for different stuff.  One is a mini HP netbook!  I hope some of you all win something!
They're celebrating 10 years so they're giving away stuff - gotta love that!  You just never know!  I won a trip to Alcapulco last year on the radio! Really!  So I'm a believer!
http://birthday.snapfish.com/?affiliateId=commissionjunction_info25?AID=10769165&PID=3394343&source=cj

That darn scale needs to MOVE!

I'm going to make this darn scale move!  I went to costco this past Monday and bought fish - so the plan is to make fish 2x per week.  We've already enjoyed salmon this week and tonight its cod.  I also bought a ton of fresh fruit to enjoy - I love kiwi and so do my kids - so we will enjoy that this week as well!  As I'm working hard to incorporate whole foods (less and less processed foods) into our lives - I also want to have a night where I plan on a meal based around legumes/beans/musical fruit - whatever you choose to call them.  I've read so many great recipes that include beans on your blogs and I've collected them all.  I really want to make Amy's black bean soup!
I hope the weather is as beautiful as its been in my part of country.  Its been in the 80's and gorgeous!

My girlfriends and I had martini night on Tuesday - what a blast!  My current favorite is pineapple upsidedown cake martini.  Oh yum!  Too many calories but I had tuna tartar so does that count towards making up for it? I got some great, clean protien in!  Here is a couple of us being totally stupid and obnoxious -  Oh my gosh we had so much fun.  I love nights like those!

Ate like crazy and lost

Thank you for all the supportive comments and suggestions.  When you're totally lost, it makes such a difference that you all are kind enough, care enough to post some suggestions.  Its truly a lifeline.  So thank you.  I took Jennyr's suggestion and drank a lot of water.  I also, interestingly enough, ate A LOT over the last 2 days, didn't track a single calorie and this morning I'm back to 204.5.  So, Gilly's suggestion to pig out also worked.  Wierd!  So strange.  So I'm going back on calorie/nutrient tracking and exercising today.  I'm going to break that 200 barrier!  I'm so determined to make it, I don't care how long or how much running or calorie tracking - its going to happen!
Yesterday I finished BusyBee's sweater - but its too warm to wear it here except for maybe in the evening.  I still need to block it (get it wet and and lay it out to dry after shaping it - it allows the yarn to 'bloom' and really finishes the garment).  After I do that, I'll take some pics of BB modeling it.  This sweater took me a few months to complete just b/c of the lack of time I have in my life!  But I reached my goal of finishing by Easter!  Its a lovely pale spring green and the yarn so beautiful.  Its Debbie Bliss yarn - called Baby Cashmerino -  my favorite.  Anyway, here's a pick of it completed:

Easter was nice - I was able to see many of my cousins that I hadn't seen in quite a while.  It was a real country cook out complete with a big 'ol pig cooker that we grilled ribs, chicken and corn in the husk.  They added hickory wood and it really gave the food such an awesome smoky flavor! Its was fantastic food and good company.  I wore an embellished black shirt (staple black) and size 16 Gap jeans.  I didn't feel enormous - only a little self conscious - I just didn't feel thinner and healthier either.  I hate that I constantly pull at my shirt.  I know its something that overweight people do - I just wish I could stop!  Its that self conscious thing going on, you know? 
I CAN tell you that a small NSV that I've noticed is that my lacy underwear is fitting much better! LOL!!!  I mean you know the front part on either side - usually my stomach roll makes that part stick out funny - but not anymore!  Cotton undies- I never have that problem - but the nicer underwear with the lace embellishments - for some reason - fit well everywhere else (read: covered my ass just fine) but the front pieces on either side always rolled under my stomach.
I've got some cute Easter pics to upload later - having problems with them right now.  Have a great Monday everyone!

Still 205.5

Well, I hopped on the scale again today and its still reading 205.5.  I sort of feel like that giant chocolate Easter egg up there!  (That's real Belgian chocolate - it took 26 craftsmen 525 hours to complete it - and they used over 50,000 chocolate bars!) 
I've consumed more calories in hopes of jump starting my body since I've been calorie restricting it  and it doesn't seem to have worked. I really don't understand it.  I know going from no working out at all to 5x per week is a lot.  But I knew it was what I needed to kick start my metabolism.  I know that I am doing all the right things.  My period is now over.   I was watching the sodium closely.  Its crazy!!  Its strange to me how the scale really did  move at first but now it isn't.  I was 207-208-209 and am down to 205.5.  But maybe I'm going to be one of those people who loose nothing, then lose more pounds than average in one fell swoop.  Its almost like this 200 lb threshold that I've not crossed in YEARS - since before I had my son 8 years ago - is just a set point that is going take some major shaking up to move past!  Well, I'm not giving up and thinks simply HAVE to change if I do this long enough.  I didn't work out again yesteraday and I ate more than I should.  I gave myself permission to say SCREW IT for 2 days. 
Today is the big Easter family get together out in the country.  We have to drive an hour from here to go to my Aunt's farm.  She has horses and all kinds of animals that the kids always love seeing.  Its a perfect setting for an Easter Egg hunt.  I have no idea what I'm going to wear.  I wanted to 'feel' like I looked fabulous - and thinner - but I really wanted to see the number 200 on the scale or close to it to feel that way.  I know I shouldn't let the scale make me feel that way - but I can't help it right now! I'm disappointed I didn't make the goal I'd set for myself.  Regardless, I'll take plenty of pictures and share with with you all!  I hope you all have a beautiful EASTER and your weather is as beautiful as it is here!!! 

Scale is going up - 205.5 today

I just don't get it.  I'm keeping my cals below 1200 daily, eating clean, and exercising 5x per week for 45 mins.  I don't understand why the scale is up again a half pound today.  I went for drinks after work today with the girls, had 2 vodka cranberries and a dozen steamed shrimp for dinner.  I really wanted the nachos but got the high protien, lower calories steamed shrimp instead.
Unfortunately, I ended up over my calorie limit today: coffee for bfast, PF Chang's shrimp dumpling appetizer for lunch, and of course the steamed shrimp for dinner along with drinks.  Got home and I gave in and ate cherios, butterscotch chips, and walnuts b/c I had a major sweet tooth.   I'm disappointed in myself for giving in.  I also didn't work out today.  I'll make up for it tomrrow and Saturday - so I'll still make my 5x per week.  Just gave in today.......ugh! 
Tomorrow I'm off, except for one conference call at 3pm.  I plan to spend time outside, clean the house, maybe hubby and I might even go out for breakfast and enjoy a little time alone.  We need it!
This scale has just GOT to move, I'm doing the right stuff.  I realized tonight, however, that I'm very hungry between meals.  My stomach growls.  So I could use a fill.  I'm going to get over my embarassment for not having  lost more weight and schedule one.  Fills cost me 150.00 each, so I only want to schedule these when I really need them.  I thought I was in a good place, but now that my period is over, I'm realizing I probably could use a fill to get me to the next level.
I hope all of you have an amazing Easter weekend.  I look forward to posting a lower weight soon!