203.5 today! Got to change my ticker finally!

I got up this a.m. and weighed myself.  I'm 203.5 which is down again from yesterday wooo hoooo!  I sure hope it stays.  I went out to breakfast with the girls, I ate 2 eggs and about a quarter of 2 pancakes.  Oh, and we also had mimosas.  That's not too terrible but I estimate at least a 400 calorie bfast if not more.

I'm planning to eat just some Green Giant vegetables for lunch to help off set breakfast.  I've tried some new ones and the mix that's in the rosemary butter sauce is really fantastic!  Its called healthy vision - I guess b/c its got carrots in it.  Even though they say its butter sauce - they've engineered it somehow to not be full fat so its not as bad calorie-wise as you think.  I coped this from a food review site:

Price: $1.00 on sale
Serving: 1/2 cup, 3.5oz.
Servings per Package: 2
Calories: 45
Fat: 3%, 2g
Cholesterol: 2%, 5mg
Sodium: 9%, 220mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 2%, 2g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 3g
Weight Watchers Points: 1 Point

Now all I have to do is exercise today!!!  I just had to share that the scale is moving - it was a pleasant and honestly unexpected surprise.  Its moving b/c I've seriously cut back on the calories.  I know this will be short lived - it always happens this way.  The same calorie intake will stall on the scale and I'll have to do something else to change it up.  I'm planning for that to be increased exercise.  Some of you out there kick some serious butt when it comes to exercise and I need to hop on that train with you!

I lost 1.5 lbs.!

I'm still working on getting it together on working out.  I know that's what its going to take to get it going!  Everyone has busy lives, everyone has very valid reasons for not having the time or energy to work out.  But I've got to find the place where I can fit working out.

I've starting keeping the TV off at home.  Its better for the kids and its better for me.  Its a time-sucker!  As soon as I sit down just to watch my DVR recording of Oprah, I get sucked into watching other TV.  By that time the kids are in their room watching Nickelodeon and time just gets sucked away.  Since I've been turning off the TV, I'm going to bed earlier.  That means I'm waking up earlier.  This new found 'time' is going to give me the slot I need in my day to dedicate to the treadmill.  All I need is 30 mins of running, walking, whatever!  Today I only fit in 20 mins, but that's ok.  I'm DOING it.  And that's what matters.  I'll increase the number of minutes.  I'll get better at this.  Its the small things that make the difference.

Its so easy to let our valid busy schedule get in the way and be the reason we can't fit working out into our lives.  How do you make it fit?

PS - My friend had a happy boob day today!  I took my friend to the outpatient place, she had an awesome experience, and she's got some nice, perky new boobs now!  She's very happy and already saying she should have gotten them bigger.  She ended up getting only C's (*remember she's 6' tall).  But I know she'll be happy!!

My friend is getting new boobs Friday

My 6' friend is getting boobs this Friday.  Did you all know you can get boobs on a Friday and be back at work on a Monday?  I had no idea!  Getting new boobs has also gotten much cheaper!  An average boob job is 6K (if you get silicone) and 1K less than that if you get saline.  I don't understand that but its still interesting!

 My good friend is 6' tall, 145 lbs (skinny), brunette with green eyes and a small B cup right now.  Imagine the sight of the two of us walking down the street together - I'm 5'4 (8 inches shorter!), much more round, D cup, blond and brown eyes.  We couldn't be more different from each other.  We're like that cartoon with the 2 dogs - Spike, the big dog and the annoying little dog.  You know what I'm talking about , right?   Spike?  Am I dating myself?

Well, she's 43, she's always wanted boobs and her ex husband always made her cover herself and her tiny boobies up.  Now that she is finally getting divorced from his sorry ass, she's decided she's getting the boobs she's always wanted!  She's getting D's and I've suddenly had the revelation that - with a boob job - her boobs are never going to sag like mine!  They put the implant behind the muscle - so all the weight of her new boobs are going to be supported by her chest muscle.  All the weight of my boobs are only supported by skin!  How can her boobs ever really droop?  They won't!  Curses!  That in itself is worth getting a boob job!  I'm jealous and ecstatic for her all the same time.  

I did ok eating today.  I had a coffee for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch with water, and a grilled cheese with broccoli for dinner.  I have got to get back into salads and such so that I can reduce my calorie intake overall to 1100 per day.  I'm doing well with the water intake.  I'm ready to lose these 6 lbs and get into the 190's!  C'mon what's my issue with getting myself to exercise?  Nothing is stopping me.  My gym bag is packed.  I have no excuses.  I'm just not making myself do what I know I need to do.  I need to GET IT TOGETHER! 

Stress eating yesterday

I was feeling especially stressed last night - and I recognized it.  But I couldn't STOP MYSELF!  Busybee and I made cookies (see her below mixing 'em up) and I ate a LOT of them.  I hated how I felt and I think all the sugar from the chocolate I was eating gave me a bad headache.  I felt unhealthy and like a failure.  I've since forgiven myself, packed my workout bag, and got my butt back on track.

I'm dealing with the stress over my job loss.  I'm trying to decide if I should take my 1 year's pay severance and then stay out of work for a year and collect unemployment ($19000/yr in VA).  I'm the main breadwinner in my family and we could make it but it would be tight, of course.  In our family - like most-  we would need 2 incomes to live comfortably, continue to stay debt free and stay on track with our long term savings plan.  

The other option is to apply for a job doing back office reporting locally for the Sales operations team - give up my severance pkg - but also take a 20% pay cut which we could easily afford.  Plus I get to keep my 6 weeks vacation (I've been there 18 years remember?) my 4% matching 401K.  

Do I take a year off - live tightly but enjoy a year with my kids and sock my severance into savings?  I could go back to work in a year - the city offices are 10 mins from my house but I'd likely earn only about 40K a year b/c its a city job.  Practically NO commute.  Or do I give that up - and go work in a easy (unchallenging but wouldn't that be nice for a change?) job?   In that job I'd get maxed out in that pay level because I make so much more than that job pays - it is more than someone should really earn for doing that job in all honesty - but if they're going to pay someone - pay me! :)    I figure if its an easy job it frees my brain up for planning excursions with my family and puts me home and with my kids in these very important years.

Are you guys sick of hearing about my job woes?  I'm sorry if its annoying.  I value your opinions, your own experiences and your thoughts,  That's why I'm trying to provide as much detail as I can.

I totally screwed up eating yesterday.  But today, I've had coffee for bfast.  I just can't eat more than that in the a.m.  For lunch I'm going to eat a half a tuna fish sandwich and some fruit.  I'm going to make some chicken noodle (whole wheat) soup with a lot of great veggies (carrots, onions, celery) with Trader Joe's organic chicken stock.  Have any of you used this stock before?  I've tried A LOT of them and this one is hands down the most depth of flavor.  If you haven't used it before -try it!  Its actually cheaper than most stocks out there.  I'm also drinking as much water as I can today and I've signing up for a boot camp.   I'm also going to back to my personal trainer 2x per week.  I'm going to release some of this stress through EXERCISE!

I was offered the job

I had another meeting yesterday with the VP.  He wanted to meet with me again on a Saturday when there were minimal people in the building.  I toured the facility, had more discussion on the leadership needed there, the organizational structure, blah, blah, blah.  Then he came out with it, explained that I was his best candidate, what he liked about me and what he thought I could do there.  He even confessed to meeting with my co-worker after I brought her up.  He said he liked her also but that I was the front runner in his mind.  Its nice to hear that, just because, you know, it just IS nice to hear a compliment about your professional work.  He then offered me the Operations Director job which is technically a promotion from what I'm doing now.  He said I could build my staff which could include hiring my AWESOME co-worker.  I had mentioned many complimentary things about her and he laughed and said she said the same about me.  He said clearly we were a good team (and we are!).

Then I launched into the issue with my severance.  Since you guys don't know where I work, I'll share with you that I have what I know is a substantial severance package b/c I've been with the company for 18 years:  my package is one year's salary.   Now,  get this.....he needs someone in March.  I explained my current job doesn't end until June.  He actually wants me to quit my job 2 months before it ends and give up a year's salary.   Really?  I mean, reeaaallllly? 

He's given me a few days to make a decision.  I made my decision before I walked out the door.  No.  Thank you.  

I'm going to have to formulate my 'professional' response and I'll do that and call him on Tue or Wed of next week.

Hubs and I had a WONDERFUL 2 days without the kidlets!  They went skiing/snow tubing with their aunt and grandma and Mr Coconut and I had shrimp and beer at our favorite local dive on the inlet in the afternoon - it was BEE-YOU-TI-FUL and 79º outside!  I could only eat about 4 shrimp so the 2 cocktails I had kicked in quickly!  Then we went to get his haircut while I got a mani-pedi next door!  We shopped at Target and TJ Maxx uninterrupted.  (I'm looking for a pottery barn-esque terrarium and other decor related stuff for my house).  We made dinner when we felt like it, lit candles, and watched movies.  AND the house stayed clean!

Somehow it seemed easier to stay on track with my eating b/c I wasn't on a schedule to feed my kids breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  We ate when we felt like it and the times I felt like eating were definitely not the normal breakfast, lunch and dinner times.  I need to pay a little more attention to that b/c it meant I was listening to my body and not eating on a schedule! 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend like I did.

I'm looking into purchasing a boot camp - its working for Gen and she's inspiring me!  This is the one I'm looking at "Adventure bootcamp for women"  What do you think?

The flu, I miss my Dad and the Job update

I am sorry for taking so long to update.  I've been very busy - 2 kids with the flu on separate weekends and so many other things I won't bore you with....

I wanted to post last Saturday about my Dad.  He passed away 12 years ago - and it feels so strange to not only type that but re-read it.  It certainly doesn't feel like 12 years ago.  I miss him every day.  Since I always spent so much time with him - I have so many great memories that simply do not fade.  For any of you who have never lost someone so important to you, I can tell you one of my greatest worries was that my memory would fade over time and I'd forget him.  Let me tell you right now - that doesn't happen.  My memories are just as sharp and I feel just as close to him as I was then.  Its very comforting to realize that now.

I also think of my Dad often because whenever I need to know how best to react to a stressful situation, I think of what he would do.  When I am faced with a lack of grace in people around me and want to be sure I'm rising above it, I think of how he would handle it.  In any tough situation I'm faced with, I think of him and know exactly what to do.  He led by example and I learned a lot from him.  

He died from skin cancer - he was a dirty blond, bright blue-eyed man who worked outside all his life.  He had a home improvement business but spent most of his time doing the work along with those who worked for him.  That meant additions on houses but a lot of roofs and bricklaying in his early 20s.  All those sunburns on his ears (he always wore long pants) and nose turned into squamous cell carcinoma 35yrs later.  You know those little white barnacles most people get burned off at the dermatologist?  He didn't have the "lethal" melanoma that you see and read about.   Basal and squamous cell - are not related to your melanocytes (cells that produce pigment in the skin).  The deadly Melanoma is cancer in your melanocytes - the cells that produce pigment and often spread to other areas of the body.  Well, for my Dad, the kind of cancer that doesn't spread turned into tumors in his parotid gland and eventually his bones and lungs.  We thought he'd licked it after surgery and many radiation treatments.  They also couldn't find any other documented cases of this 'innocent' skin cancer turning deadly.  We thought it would all be okay.  The doctors said no one dies from this kind of cancer.

But it came back after a year and eventually killed my strong, 6'2", otherwise very healthy and stoic Dad.  My dad was one part Clint Eastwood, one part Harrison Ford, and one part John Wayne.   He was only 55 years old when he died and he never got to see my kids.  My mom, my grandma and my 3 siblings were with him in his room on his bed when he died.  I had my hand on his heart and felt his last heartbeat.  I saw him breathe for the last time.  It was just awful how cancer ravaged such a strong man into someone I didn't recognize because he was so thin and weak .  He always willed himself to work harder and longer than most people could stand.  He also willed himself to live as long as he could for us.  (That's why my son's name is Will)  He only got to see one of his eventual 8 grandchildren.  

He died Feb 12th, 1999.  It still sucks when I allow myself to think about how unfair it is.  But I live my life in the best way I know how in order to HONOR him and that's what makes me survive not having him around.   Besides, if I did anything less, he's probably find a way to kick my ass!  I sure do miss you DAD!

I just wanted to take a second to tell you all about him.  I try not to let the day of his death affect me - its just that I miss him a lot and he was the coolest!

Ok, on to brighter things.....as for my job update....So,  I met for lunch with the VP.  

I was actually quite comfortable and had a pretty productive conversation over lunch.  Its pretty hard to talk and eat so I didn't eat much.  He's got a lot of challenges and it does sound like they could use some new blood and fresh perspective on their whole customer and employee approach.  I know that I could help them, heck, it would even be fun only because I know exactly how to fix it and have done those things in my own center many times over the past few years.   Anyway - I won't go into the details b/c it would be straight up torture for you all!

At the end of the conversation I learned he needed an Operations Director (ok, so it sounds like it could be the right pay and responsibility) and he needed someone in March.  Wait, what?  March?! HALT!  A car screeching HALT!   I swallowed the bite of cheese ravioli in my mouth and calmly explained that my job wouldn't be ending until June.  He then asked if my giving up my severance was a deal breaker.

I immediately said - Ummmmmm. YES! (to myself).  What I said out loud as politely and professionally as I could was that since it was a substantial package based on my 18 years with the company, it would, in fact, be a 'deal breaker' for me to give that up in order to go to work for him in March.  The conversation ended swiftly and politely with a "well, if anything changes, please keep in touch." 

What I didn't tell you was that one my favorite co-workers - really my partner at work - she got a call from him too.  She met with him over lunch the previous day.  Of course we told each other all about our  EXACT same conversations and laughed at how duplicate our experiences were.

Now, I really thought this was over.  And I'm ok with it.  I actually wanted the experience so I could know exactly how it will be in the future when I'm looking for a job.  I had nothing to lose and everything to gain from the experience even if I totally screwed it up.   Well, he called today and wants me to stop by the center this Saturday so he can talk to me further.  He wants to meet me on Saturday so I can 'tour' the facility to 'look around' and talk further.  He doesn't want me to be in the office during a busy workday because he doesn't want the management there to know he's looking outside the company for someone to 'change things.'    I'm thinking to myself - what is there to talk about?  I also told him that there will likely be a contingency in my severance package that doesn't allow me to work for a vendor of my company for 6mos.   So, I'm thinking why would he call me to talk further?  Well, I'll let you all know.  I also told my co-worker and she didn't get the same call back which surprises me b/c she's very talented and I'd hire her in a split second - she's that sharp!  I have to say, however, that its awkward.  I had to tell her, though!

So, there's my saga.  Lots of flu in my house, I miss my Dad and the job update.

Oh, and my weight isn't moving b/c I'm not making time to exercise.  I've got time carved out tomorrow and I'm going to make it fit!  I need stop and make time for ME and my health!  The kids are going skiing with my husband's parents this weekend so I get some alone time with my man! Woot! 

Friday meeting with a VP from another company

As you all know, I'm in the process of leaving my current company that I've worked for, for about 18 years now.  I received a call from a VP at an outsourcer who received my resume through someone that I work with intermittently now as I'm transitioning a particular customer base she's in charge of.  (I'm trying to explain this without being terribly specific - this IS the Internet and I have a few fears about security)  Anyway - her husband is the new CEO of this existing company that is growing and plans to continue to grow.   Since she knows my work, she was kind enough to 'pass my resume along.'   So this Friday, I'm meeting with this VP who looking for "new leadership" in his company.  One small part of this company is local which is why I'm interested.  I'm curious about what he's really looking for, I'm curious what the job would be, curious about the pay, curious about the whole deal.

So wish me luck on Friday - I'll keep you posted on how things turn out.  I've never had a 'lunch' meeting with a VP over a job before.  I get to pretend I'm a big girl!  So I better make sure I put my big girl panties on that day! LOL....

I'm happy to have my eating under control!

Today, I didn't want breakfast, so I had my starbucks coffee for breakfast.  I had sushi, 1/4 cup of salad, and 2 tempura shrimp for lunch along with some Hot green tea.  For dinner, I was getting a little hungry, but ate 4 small home made chocolate chip cookies along with a glass of milk and I'm feeling fine.  Normally, I'd eat dinner with the family b/c,  you know, its dinnerTIME.  So its TIME to eat, right?  Wrong!  Wrong way to think.   I'm trying my new approach to see how LITTLE I can eat with the band, so how little can I eat?  I'm happy with the cookies and milk!  I don't need to eat dinner with the family.   Its definitely not my best choice, but if I just leave it at this - I've not destroyed my day calorie wise, I got what I wanted, and I'm not buying into the notion I have to eat b/c its "time" to eat.

When I say I'm gaining control of my eating, this is how I'm doing it.

So, I'm still walking with a little bit of running worked in.  I'm increasing my running very, very slowly.  I'm going to get some movement on the scale as soon as I incorporate something extra like Zumba or boot camp into the mix.  I just need to find the time to do that now! And I WILL!  Gotta get ready for the bahamas in June! 

Things are moving along

First, that's my face on a super model's body!  I could say that's what I looked like in the 80's, but it would be a total lie!  Ha Ha!  This website lets you put your face on absolutely anything and its hilarious!

Anyway, my weight loss is moving slowly.  I'm keeping my calories in check but need to get involved in something to jump start my exercise.  I've signed up for a Zumba class and am going to go see what all the raving is about! :)

I've started my MBA, and the work here in the beginning has been a little more intense than I'd planned.  Its taking up more time than I'd planned.  Its interfering with my work out time.  We all only have so much time outside of work and I just need to plan it better!

As for the band,  I'm embracing the approach of - how little can I eat with the band.  That different approach had definitely been a change for me and I like it.  I swear, all I really did before was test the band to see how much I could get away with.  Seeing how little I can get away with is really opening my eyes and making things much easier!

So the focus this week is making a new plan for what days I'm going to work out.  I've got eating under control so now its just time to do some sort of jump start activity.  I'll let you all know how it goes!