14's!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can wear size 14 shorts!!!!!!!!!!

I stopped by Old Navy yesterday to return some things and looked at some shorts real quick because my size 18's were just looking yucky on me.  I tried on 16's and they fit great.  So I bought a pair of 14's also without trying them on.  I decided I wanted some goal shorts to keep me motivated.

I got up this morning and tried on my goal shorts to see how far I needed to go and THEY FIT!!!!!!!!!!  Buttoned up, zipped up, OMG!  I couldn't freakin believe it.

I was a little down b/c I'd weighed myself when I got up at 5am this morning and the scale actually went up to 193 (from 192) so I wasn't looking for them to actually fit.

You all know just how long of a journey this has been for me.  Unlike all of you, I haven't seen the early victories and instead its taken me much longer to feel this.  So, my body MUST be changing even though the scale isn't moving....

BTW - I ran my longest yet yesterday - 6.2 miles!  Today I scaled it back to 4.8 so I don't wear my body out.  I definitely felt it today after such a workout yesterday and I can tell I need to let me body recover a little bit.   I also ate some ice cream cake yesterday (the first high sugar sweet I've had in 3 weeks) at a birthday party and I definite felt a difference in how I felt.  My body like the clean eating and its an incentive to stay on it.  The sugar made me feel a bit sluggish and tired and just not as much energy as I've been feeling over the last few weeks.

Regardless, this feeling is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!  I like they way I look in those shorts!!!!

192 today - scaled moved for 1st time in 5 days!

Yay!!  It finally moved!  I hope it doesn't go back up tomorrow but it might - we'll see.  I walked/ran 4 miles again this morning on the boardwalk.  Its just so peaceful and beautiful as the sun rises.  And I just love the smell of the ocean with that chill still in the air.  Gorgeous!

Tomorrow is my big face to face interview with the VP at that outside company.  Wish me luck!  I still haven't heard anything regarding the outcome of the interview I did within my own company last week.  I have a lot to think about - not sure which job would be better.  I'm drawn to leave, deposit my severance and pick right up making the same pay I do now.  But I'm also drawn to a completely 'remote' job where I can make my own schedule and work anywhere I want to with a drop in pay that's not significant enough to make a difference.  I'd love the challenge at the outside job but I'd love the life balance of the internal job.  What to do, what to do!

I hope you all are doing well.  Where will my weight be by this Saturday?  3 more lbs and I'm breaking into the 180's!!!!!!!  What a DREAM that would be!  I can't even fathom it!  My clothes are fitting so differently.  I can't believe what just 10lbs does.  What will 10 more lbs do?  I can't imagine it but I so want it to happen!  I'm doing all the right things consistently - its gotta happen!

Today I ate:

breakfast - Starbucks Americano with half and half

10am:  Yoplait Greek honey yogurt, water

12:30:  1/2 cup pulled pork, 1/2 cup cole slaw, 1/2 cup baked beans, water

5:30 pm:  Trader Joe's white corn tortilla chips (12), 1/2 cup mexican layer dip, salad with Cilantro dressing, water

Still exercising!

Its a God loving miracle everyone!  I'm actually still exercising and eating clean!  Today I got up at 4:30, drove the 15 mins to the oceanfront and ran/walked.  I'm up to running 6 mins walking 4 mins.  I only did 2 miles b/c I wanted to take it easy today.  Yesterday I walked over 5 miles and I don't want to create any overuse injuries which I tend to do.

I left work at 10 am yesterday, called 2 girlfriends, and we spent the afternoon laying on the beach doing nothing but talking and laughing.  It was wonderful!

The scale isn't moving, however, got up and I'm still 193.  That's 4 days in a row now that I've not lost anything.  I'm thinking its because of the increased exercise - and I'm not letting it discourage me.  I know I'm doing all the right things and its not PHYSICALLY possible that I don't lose more weight.  I know exactly where my calories are and how many calories I'm burning so this simply HAS TO break, otherwise, I'm a freak of nature.....which is possible, I guess.

Anyway - wanted to update you on my progress.  My mental outlook is stronger lately and I've eased out of the semi emotional slump I was in.  I have 2 more weeks in my job so that's really hitting home also.  I should hear something this week on both jobs - we'll see what my future holds!  Until then, I'm keeping these good feelings and habits going!  I'm absolutely LOVING walking at sunrise at the ocean - on the boardwalk.  There are so many other runners there and I feel like I'm part of that quick wave as you pass other runners club.  When I grow up, I want to be just like them - running the WHOLE way and wearing my cute nike goal shorts!

Personal stuff - ups and downs

Of course, all this we write in our blogs is ALL personal stuff but I'm finding that I'm having deep thoughts about a lot of things lately.  I'm not sure if its the solitude of exercise and the music that I am listening to that makes me think about myself, my life, what I want to do with my time now, and where I want to be.

I have a pretty solid self worth and have a strong sense of self confidence personality-wise.  Obviously the body is a work in progress but I have been spending so much time thinking about changing my life up.  I know its partly because of the crossroads I'm at with my job and I welcome it.  I'm just surprised that this intelligent, confident, and fun person can be affected so much by other people and external things.  For example, my self worth is not defined by my job title.  But at times when my future is uncertain, a single call or line of events where another company is 'interested' in me really surges my self worth.  Why is that? I think that's ridiculous and am ashamed to admit it.  I consciously know it has nothing to do with me so why does it make me feel this way?

Why is it when I go out with my friends to a bar or party - that attention from men makes me feel so darn good?  I'm  not looking for anything but why does that make my feelings about how I look peak?  I'm allowing others to affect how I feel about myself.  I get that its a confidence booster and I'll take it all day long but I just I'm just remarking that it  makes me feel really great and it bothers me a little that it makes me feel so great.  As if I need that to make my confidence really soar.

I've been spending time  learning to exercise and I'm really focused on the foods I'm eating.  My energy is really through the roof which is a huge change for me.  I mean really huge.  My calories are very low right now - I'm eating about 800 cals per day and I feel fantastic!  I have so much energy that I need less sleep (which is TOTALLY not me) and I find myself wanting to go walk just to get some of this energy out.  If I could run full out and totally exhaust myself, I'd do it!

Interestingly enough, my chiropractor (just started seeing one 2-3 weeks ago) said that for a person whose back is out of line - and mine really was - that once it gets back in line - all the energy your body was putting into stressing, straightening, fighting gravity - you now have to use for other things b/c your back is now aligned.  All of this energy did coincide with the chiropractor visit.  My diet change also happened then.  So I'm not sure which is the cause or if its a product of the sum.

I mean I've lost 10 lbs in just over 2 weeks.  I'm starting to plateau.  I got on the scale again this morning and still weigh 193 so no change in 2 days.  I also have done enough research to know that a lot of that is water and lean muscle - and some fat too.  Which is why I've not seen a huge change in my clothes.  I have seen some changes for sure - and its AWESOME!  Today, I got on the scale again today and its not moved.  I will now increase the calories I think and also increase the exercise.  That's the 'shock' to my metabolism to change things up that I'm going to take.

My body isn't toned and I'm definitely noticing that I'm still bigger than I was a this weight than before.  Last time I weighed this, I worked out HARD with a personal trainer 3x per week and was very strong.  That's what I need to do next is tone and lift weights.

I've also got hot yoga that I've signed up for.  I'm yearning for peace and personal growth.  I'm hoping that turning to meditation and yoga and working with weights might help me find more of that in my life.  We all can use a little more peace right?  I just want to create for myself the life I really want.  It includes feeling balanced and doing more active hobbies like running marathons, diving, working out, and whatever other outdoor hobbies I find.

Hmmmm, I'm in a really contemplative mood.  My husband I know feels distance from me and that's b/c I'm spending so much time alone (walking, going out with the girls, etc.)  I'm trying to talk to him about it and he does understand.  I just feel like he's being a little clingy - which drives me insane when all I want is to be alone.  How funny is that?  I guess I just need to have sex with him and he'll let me be for a few days! LOL.  Don't get me wrong, our sex life is fine, but you know how boys are.....

A new low!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the nice compliments you all left me regarding reaching onederland - FINALLY! I'm still walking 2-3 miles daily and picking up the pace to run some as part of this 5k walk to run program.

Well, today's scale told me 193.5!!!  That's 10 lbs down!  Since last December, its 20lbs down!  I feel like I may be plateauing a bit - so I need to either up the exercise or up the calories or both.  My energy is still great and - while I see nothing wrong with coffee - I haven't had coffee in 2 weeks.  Very low sugar, carbs, and fat is working well for me.

Breakfast - hot tea

Lunch - half a Lean Cuisine

Afternoon snack - banana

Dinner - 2 oz salmon and veggies.

Gosh if I could lose 10 more like this I'll be in heaven at 183!  I can't even ponder that right now but if I could pull that off, I'd be so happy!!!

I think I mentioned already that I've been going to see a chiropractor.  I'm feeling much better there and have been doing a number of things for my soul.  Walking, getting massages, buying really pretty bras and matching underwear.  I've been spending some time in the sun, going for walks on the beach, and learning to meditate.  

On the job front - I interviewed for a consultant position with my same company, small reduction in pay, large reduction in job responsibilities AND I can make my own hours and work remotely!!  I interviewed for that last Wednesday and should hear something next week.  I also applied for a director position at a French pharmaceutical application company doing basically what I do now.  I interviewed with the VP today and the interview went so well, she's flying out to meet me next Thursday!  I really clicked with her and think I'd really like to work for this company.  The best part is that they are a French owned company so where do you think their company summits are?? Yep - Paris!  Can you imagine??

Anyway, things are on the upswing for me and I'm very happy today.  I hope all of you are doing well and I look forward to catching up and commenting on all your blogs this weekend.

Can wait to post my weight on Monday!!!!!!!! Its gonna be lower!

I BROKE THROUGH to ONEDERLAND!

I have a picture of my scale reporting 197 this morning.  I tried to upload a pic but its not working.  I actually hit 199 2 days ago but I thought it wouldn't last.  Instead its dropped some more!

I'm walk running 2 miles every night.  I started going to a chiropractor and I'm being very diligent with my eating.  I've almost entirely cut out sweet stuff and am replacing most (not all) of my breads and pastas with vegetables.  Go figure - doing what you're supposed to do works sometimes!

I know my body will stall - but I'm ready for that and change up my eating and exercise routine to shock my body into letting go of some more.

This is awesome!  I've not been here since before my daughter was born 5 years ago!  I'm on my way.....I can just feel it!