I can't really believe it and I didn't even post about it because I figured I was dehydrated and wasn't going to stay there but I actually hit 177.7 two days ago. I can't flipping believe it. I really can't. I haven't weighed in the 170's since in about 20 years. That's crazy. Tonight I hopped on the scale ( we all know the only time to weigh ourselves is after we pee and with little to no clothing on first thing the morning) but I weighed 179 at 9:30 at night which means, I'm in the 170's for real!
I've been trying all kinds of summer clothes on from last year and I'm just shocked at how loose they are and some are so baggy that I don't look good in them. I keep trying clothes on because I really can't believe shorts and tops that were tight last year are too big this Summer. How awesome is that? I have an entire new wardrobe of all the clothes that were a little too snug last year and they fit really well. It feels amazing to feel like I look 'acceptable' to my own standards in my clothes. That's a very foreign feeling to me. I keep squashing the negative thoughts that this is only temporary and that I"m going to gain it all back once my hiatal hernia is fixed.
The crazy part is my reflux is essentially gone. I still cannot eat much at a time but it's exactly like restriction was in the beginning. No acid issues at night and no waking up. I'm also not hungry hardly at all and I'm able to fresh raw fruits and vegetables, something I could not do at all before. I just don't eat a lot of it. It's actually quite perfect and I'm still losing weight.
My surgery consultation is Monday. It's kind of hard to consider surgery when things are going so well right now. I am taking the surgery seriously, it's just ironic that things are going so well and I"m going to have hiatal hernia surgery which I know will change it. It's the right thing to do, but it's just hard to give up on this all new weight loss I've never experienced before. I've lost 60 lbs total from my highest weight. Unbelievable. And while my eating is minimal and I have days (if I'm close to getting my period) where my stomach really doesn't want to accept much. But on most days, I'm really good and able to eat whatever. My calories are too low, but gosh, it's working. I am eating about 800 calories (always >=60g of protein) for about 2 days and then on the third day (on average) whether it's because of my hormones or something else that I don't understand, I'm able to eat almost anything I want. And I eat about 2500 calories. I honestly think the very low calories for 2 days followed by a 3rd day of high calories is keeping the weight loss going. I'm keeping my body and perhaps my metabolism guessing and since my body is only in what I call starvation mode for 2 days, maybe that's why my metabolism isn't completely shot ? Otherwise, I'd stall in my weight loss, right? Gosh, I don't know but it sure is working for me!
I'm walking at work daily and since it's warmer, Stand up Paddle boarding is next. I bought myself one for my birthday last year and I just love it. So I'm also doing well with getting enough sleep and exercising! All good momentum.
My heart of hearts want to get to 165, that's 15 lbs from where I am now. Why does that seem impossible? It's 15 lbs. for goodness sake. I have to get that negative voice out of my head telling me this loss is only temporary, just like all the previous weight loss attempts I've made. I have to believe I'm not going to gain this weight back and find myself back at 195 which is where I was in January. I am enjoying my clothes so much I really don't want to go back there. I CAN DO THIS!