Learnig my body's signals

One thing I've learned from this experience of eating whatever I wanted and not weighing myself is that I've learned how my body changes through the month.  I had a pretty good idea I was PMS'ing recently but before that I began to feel more restriction.  I know now that at least 1.5 weeks out of the month I'm going to have more restriction.  And that I shouldn't push the eating thing b/c I'm going to regret it.  I've learned that eating too much gives me a pain in my lower rib and a pain in my left shoulder if I pay attention to it before its too late.  I've also learned that I know when I'm losing weight without weighing myself.  Its all kinds of queues - not just if my clothing has changed - its more of a feeling in my gut.   No, not intuition, I mean like.....literally.   Like I can suck my gut in easier and allllmost eek out the faint edges of my collarbones.   Does that make sense?  I can feel it vs. measuring it.  And I find myself wanting to feel like that more often and its keeping me from eating the wrong things or too much of them.  Its definitely a different approach.  I'm secretly hoping I'm just going to 'feel' my way down this weight ladder and I'll just wake up one day, cheerfully hop on the scale and find myself in Onederland!  I'm still 4lbs away so there is no reason this is an unrealistic expectation.......I'll keep you posted on when that actually happens.... 

A few things....

So I decided to take a new approach.  I found myself completely and utterly obsessed with all the band blogs I'm following, continually comparing myself to everyone else and feeling like I'm doing something wrong.  I decided to kind of drop out of thinking about this every minute and feeling defeated when I came up short.  I stopped weighing myself, stopped reading my favorite blogs, stopped posting and just started living.  I also decided I'd allow myself to eat whatever I wanted without counting calories and only basically tracking my protein intake.  I found that I kept gravitating to eating a lot of sugar filled foods and always later in the day.  I found that I really don't want to before 11am at all.  I think that, however, is what was leading to wanting to eat more at night and also driving me toward sugar.  I found myself miserable and lethargic when I ate those sugar-laden foods and eventually stopped craving them because I repeatedly made myself miserable - overfull (I found that I literally had pain in my left lower rib) and exhausted.
I'm feeling better now because I'm still eating what I want, I just want vegetables because they make me feel better.  Weird, I know. 
So after 2 mos of not looking at the scale, I've not gained a pound.  I've not lost either, but that doesn't surprise me considering the Starbucks ice cream and cookies I ate while devouring sugar all the time.  I'm actually surprised I've not gained.
I'm going to continue down this path, I'm ready to exercise now after allowing myself to do nothing and not feel bad about it.  I want to exercise because I think it will bring me some energy as well as help me alleviate some lower back pain I've been feeling lately.  I also want to firm up my legs and strengthen my core.  I want to feel stronger.
I've enjoyed my hiatus.  I've missed all the great blogs.  I'm ready to enjoy your successes again with you and also join you.
I have found 2 NSV's I'd like to report.  I'm wearing Ann Taylor Loft in "L" instead of "XL" - that's AMAZING to me.  I actually don't remember the last time I didn't buy an XL - its just automatic, you know?    The 2nd NSV involves my boobs.  I went to Lane Bryant to get my favorite Bras this past month when they went on sale for buy 2 get 2 free.  I bought 40D's and they fit great!  New bras really are such a good thing.  Feels great - I just feel better wearing beautiful new bras.  Anyway, I bought the 40D b/c that's what size I thought I was.  I went to throw away my old bras and when I looked at the tag realized my previous bras were 40DD.  Another NSV!  I actually want my boobs to get smaller (not too much) but how cool is that?!  I'm very happy about both things!
I hope you all are doing well.  I look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs!  I also hope you all are having a wonderful summer!  I am!