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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Getting things in order

Over Christmas, my personal wish was for peace.  Peace in making a decision and peace in knowing what path I was going to travel down and be able to plan and prepare for.  You all know how tortured I was over making that decision.  As you know, I made the decision, feel great about it, and as I make plans to prepare to stay home, I AM finding peace.  I've met with a financial planner, I've created a new budget, I've created a savings schedule for our family, and I've enrolled in a masters program that begins for me in March.  Its such a great feeling since I know what path I'm going to take - to get all my plans in order and rolling.  (Can you tell I'm an obsessive planner??) except that my restriction is going away!  Since I've let go of the stress of having to make such a big life decision, clearly my stress level has gone down and so has restriction.  I know people who LOSE weight when they are stress, and all my life, I've GAINED weight when I'm stressed.  Now, with the band, I'm learning, that I'm becoming one of those people.  My stomach really IS affected under stress and the band is making that happen.  I am continually amazed at how stress level really does affect 'tightness' of the band.  I rarely felt hunger before, and over the last few weeks, I absolutely feel hunger again. 
I've not lost any weight - and I've not gotten myself exercising yet - and I know that's what's going to kickstart my weightloss.  You know, somewhere deep inside, I wished that my big life decision might make me so peaceful that I'd find the weight just 'falling' off naturally!  I know that's silly - but I did secretly think it, wished it, hope it maybe....I've read of that happening to people before once they are finally in a peaceful place.
Well, heads up, its not happening for me yet!   And guess what - I REALLY DO NEED TO EXERCISE.  Hello?!??
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